Young love is wild and outrageous, laughing at moderation and blinding us to common sense.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

We cannot always assure the future of our friends; we have a better chance of assuring our future if we remember who our friends are.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

My kids are normal. If they could eat burgers and fries and ice cream every day, they would. And so would I. But that doesn’t sustain us.

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others.

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.

Temperance is a mean with regard to pleasures.

Single life is so overrated.

There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other.

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent.

Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.

I like some animals more than some people, some people more than some animals.

Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great.

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.

I’ll think I have a few wonderful friends and all of a sudden, ooh, here it comes. They do a lot of things. They talk about you to the press, to their friends, tell stories, and you know, it’s disappointing.

If I love you, what business is it of yours?

People hate as they love, unreasonably.

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.

You know, I live a monastic lifestyle. No, I do. I do live in extremes, basically. I go back and forth. Once every six months, I’ll have a day where I eat more chocolate than has ever been consumed by a human being.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

Sometimes you can’t prioritise family and you feel guilty.

To love someone means to see him as God intended him.

Teach not thy lip such scorn, for it was made For kissing, lady, not for such contempt.

It is the sign of a great mind to dislike greatness, and to prefer things in measure to things in excess.

No woman ever hates a man for being in love with her, but many a woman hate a man for being a friend to her.

I want someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them.

When your mother asks, ‚Do you want a piece of advice?‘ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

I have an urge to communicate. I think I’m a change from what it would be like dating a normal guy who doesn’t talk too much.

Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.

I’ve been careful in love. I’ve been careless in love. And I’ve had adventures I wouldn’t trade for anything.

If misery loves company, misery has company enough.

Love is not consolation. It is light.

I am at peace with God. My conflict is with Man.

Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow – that’s vulnerability.

We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.

Time was when they that feared the Lord spake often to one another; I am afraid that now they more often speak one against another.

What is common sense isn’t common practice.

What sweetness is left in life, if you take away friendship? Robbing life of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun. A true friend is more to be esteemed than kinsfolk.

My friends are my estate.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.

When you really don’t like a guy, they’re all over you, and as soon as you act like you like them, they’re no longer interested.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

I think what motivates people is not great hate, but great love for other people.

Man and animals are in reality vehicles and conduits of food, tombs of animals, hostels of Death, coverings that consume, deriving life by the death of others.

We want our marriage to be a triumph, not a tragedy.

There was one incident at a movie theater where my girl got mad at these guys who were talking behind us. I never looked back there, but she was like, ‚Will you all just shut up!‘ And I just got up and moved three rows in front. She was like, ‚What are you doing?!‘ I was like, ‚You better get up here! I don’t play the fighting games.‘

There is a sort of jealousy which needs very little fire; it is hardly a passion, but a blight bred in the cloudy, damp despondency of uneasy egoism.

A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.

Love is the one wild card.

Never go to excess, but let moderation be your guide.

Were it not for imagination a man would be as happy in arms of a chambermaid as of a duchess.

Happiness is a hard master, particularly other people’s happiness.

Love has reasons which reason cannot understand.

All good leaders are connectors. They relate well and make people feel confident about themselves and their leader.

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years. For the next five years, scold them. By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend. Your grown up children are your best friends.

I was one of the wildest Santa Clauses they ever had.

I really thought I was on the way out. My husband Blake saved my life. Often I don’t know what I do, then the next day the memory returns. And then I am engulfed in shame.

Romance should never begin with sentiment. It should begin with science and end with a settlement.

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.