Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

No one has any faith in the tape anymore – everyone just relies on computers and considers the hardrive to be the safest option, and I don’t. I think an analog tape is something you can hold.

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

I laugh all the time – at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don’t laugh onstage because then it’s serious business.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

We no longer think of chairs as technology; we just think of them as chairs. But there was a time when we hadn’t worked out how many legs chairs should have, how tall they should be, and they would often ‚crash‘ when we tried to use them.

It’s a good thing we don’t get all the government we pay for.

I’m trying my best to keep up with all this new technology, and I surround myself with all these wonderful people that are in the know and kind of help me out with all that.

If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion.

We polled Tesla owners, do you want autopilot disabled or not. Not one person wanted it disabled. That’s pretty telling.

I had no talent for science. What was infinitely worse: all my fraternity brothers were engineers.

How do you catch a knuckleball? You wait until it stops rolling, then go pick it up.

Really advanced civilization is based on advances in energy.

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.

I don’t have a computer. A computer’s a typewriter. I already have a typewriter.

Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.

Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster.

I am a dangerous man when turned loose with a typewriter.

My husband calls me ‚catfish.‘ He says I’m all mouth and no brains.

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I’ll die a crazy old man!

Contrary to reports, this boy is not a billionaire or going to be richer than any Beatle… and not just in the sense of money, by the way; the Beatles are untouchable – those billionaire reports are a joke.

As an entrepreneur, as an investor, I’m trying to be as educated as I can to where the progression of technological capability is going and what it does to these different categories that, me as an artist and an influencer, I can get involved and bring value.

I think television has had a vast, unbelievable impact on us.

That’s the one for my tombstone… Here lies David Byrne. Why the big suit?

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.

The Internet is just another experiment showing us more sides of us.

Harnessing steam power required many innovations, as William Rosen chronicles in the book ‚The Most Powerful Idea in the World.‘

I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

We’ve fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.

Our goal is to make the best devices in the world, not to be the biggest.

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

But Apple really beats to a different drummer. I used to say that Apple should be the Sony of this business, but in reality, I think Apple should be the Apple of this business.

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

People don’t want lots and lots of single purpose devices. They do not want to have to learn how to set up something for photos, another thing for music, another thing for video.

I am a giant proponent of giant screens. But I accept the fact that most of my movies are going to be seen on phones.

The real question for me is, do people have the tools that they need in order to make those decisions well? And I think that it’s actually really important that Facebook continually makes it easier and easier to make those decisions… If people feel like they don’t have control over how they’re sharing things, then we’re failing them.

I don’t think it’s possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor.

Tesla is becoming a real car company.

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

How do people relate to movies now, when they’re on portable devices or streaming them? It’s not as much about going to the movies. That experience has changed.

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.

I’m screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I’m funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that’s appreciated by young people.

It’s a juicy thing to say we’re building a phone, which is why people want to write about it. But it’s so clearly the wrong strategy for us.

The path to the CEO’s office should not be through the CFO’s office, and it should not be through the marketing department. It needs to be through engineering and design.

Perhaps one day we will have machines that can cope with approximate task descriptions, but in the meantime, we have to be very prissy about how we tell computers to do things.

Facebook is quite entrenched and has a network effect. It’s hard to break into a network once it’s formed.

There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages.

Now everyone takes it for granted that you can look up movie reviews, track locations, and order stuff online. I wish there was a way we could take it away from people for a day so they could remember what it was like without it.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man’s humanity to man.

I love good, loud speakers.