When red-haired people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.

As far as I knew white women were never lonely, except in books. White men adored them, Black men desired them and Black women worked for them.

I’m interested in the fact that the less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice.

Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

People tend to think that because I’m a performer and I don’t go to a regular high school that I haven’t personally been affected by bullies. But it’s actually quite the contrary.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I think women go crazy for a reason. It’s not like it just happens.

Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.

A businessman is the only man who is forever apologizing for his occupation.

People have so many hang-ups about how other people live their lives. People always want to keep you in a little box, or they need to label you and fix you in time and location.

People who bowl vote. Bowlers are not the cultural elite.

I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.

I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their calculating – is this the exact right mix? I think that’s – to me it’s anti-comedy. It’s more about PC-nonsense.

A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares.

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men don’t think there’s a lot they don’t know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, ‚I know what I’m doing, just show me somebody naked.‘

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

In the public eye, girls and women with strong perspectives are hated. If you’re a girl with an opinion, people just hate you. There are still people who are afraid of successful women, and that’s so lame.

If I write badly about blacks, homosexuals and women, it is because of these who I met were that. There are many ‚bads‘ – bad dogs, bad censorship; there are even ‚bad‘ white males. Only, when you write about ‚bad‘ white males, they don’t complain about it. And need I say that there are ‚good‘ blacks, ‚good‘ homosexuals and ‚good‘ women?

I was not encouraged to follow the career of a writer because my parents thought that I was going to starve to death. They thought nobody can make a living from being a writer in Brazil. They were not wrong.

We’re African-American and we work together as a family, so people assume we’re like the Jacksons. But I didn’t have parents using me to get out of a bad situation.

Stop this attitude that older people ain’t any good anymore! We’re as good as we ever were – if we ever were any good.

Perception often lags behind reality, and I can say from experience that the vast majority of public officials in Louisiana are much better than our reputation holds us to be.

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

I read so much stuff that black women say, especially about my relationship. ‚Oh, he left his black wife to go be with some exotic chick.‘ First of all, my girl is black: she’s Jamaican.

We do stigmatise teens a lot and see them as scary and alien.

Stupid as a man, say the women: cowardly as a woman, say the men. Stupidity in a woman is unwomanly.

Feminists wish women to seem like men. They’re not men.

A chaplain’s assistant is customarily a figure of fun in the American Army.

When everybody looks at our generation of kids, they always call us the misfits – you know, like we just don’t give a damn.

Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer’s no. That’s not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim American kid believing that he or she could be president?

Savages we call them because their manners differ from ours.

Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.

I think everyone’s inherently snobbish. Things that are very popular are not taken seriously, because the snobbish side of one says, ‚Well, if everyone likes it it can’t be that good.‘ Whereas if only I and a couple of other people like it, then it must be really something special.

Funny thing is that the poorer people are, the more generous they seem to be.

People always say when they meet me that I’m not what they expect. I assume they think I’m this super dark and depressing guy, but I like to channel all of those emotions into my work.

To understand Europe, you have to be a genius – or French.

Chefs are nutters. They’re all self-obsessed, delicate, dainty, insecure little souls and absolute psychopaths. Every last one of them.

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly.

It’s a well-known fact that tall people are evil.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them.

The reason people think it’s important to be white is that they think it’s important not to be black.

Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy; Canada is like an intelligent, 35-year-old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. It comes right up to you and laughs very hard in your face in a highly threatening and engaging manner.

National character is only another name for the particular form which the littleness, perversity and baseness of mankind take in every country. Every nation mocks at other nations, and all are right.

The poor are discussed as this homogeneous mash, like porridge. The idea that they might be individuals, and be where they are for very different, diverse reasons, again seems to escape some people.

I don’t know why women want any of the things men have when one of the things that women have is men.

The pace at which people are taking to digital technology defies our stereotypes of age, education, language and income.

The fact is that I find more most men are more open, more generous, and much more stimulating than the majority of females I know.

You don’t hear no artists from Compton showing vulnerability.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.

If you see a black family, it’s looting, but if it’s a white family they are looking for food.

The problem with Yanks is they are wimps.

I’m a bookworm. I know with my physical appearance that I don’t look like the typical reader. I’m in Barnes & Noble all the time, and you can look at people that look like they are supposed to be in there. I am in there, pants sagging, hat backwards.

I would just say there is one misperception of our veterans, and that is they are somehow damaged goods. I don’t buy it.

Women must pay for everything. They do get more glory than men for comparable feats, but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.

Why is it so hard for people to believe that white people are poor?! I wouldn’t say I lived in a ghetto; I’d say I lived in the ‚hood. The same friends I had back then are the same people on tour with me now.

To the women and children, T stands for tender. To the bad guys and thugs, it stands for tough.

People have a negative impression of New York that I don’t think is quite fair.

It’s rare for anyone to value the opinions of a teenage girl.