Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

If it’s all instruction, you get annoyed with it and bored, and you stop reading. If it’s all entertainment, you read it quite quickly, your heart going pitty-pat, pitty-pat. But when you finish, that’s it. You’re not going to think about it much afterward, apart from the odd nightmare. You’re not going to read that book again.

And God help Bruce Springsteen when they decide he’s no longer God… They’ll turn on him, and I hope he survives it.

There should be a point to movies. Sure, you’re giving people a diversion from the cold world for a bit, but at the same time, you pass on some facts and rules and maybe a little bit of wisdom.

What I’ve learned is that you really don’t need to be a celebrity or have money or have the paparazzi following you around to be famous.

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

If you look at my job, my union card, it says ‚actor.‘ It don’t say nothing about celebrity, movie star, nothing like that, and that’s one thing that keeps me humble.

When Jerry Springer thinks you’ve gone too far, my friends, you have gone too far.

I make pop culture.

In the end, everything is a gag.

I heard that when Christina Aguilera went back to her prom, people, like, booed her. I can’t imagine going through that. If you know that’s going to happen, why put yourself in that situation? I’d rather play for 20,000 screaming people, you know?

You don’t know when you’re being watched. That’s one of the weird things about celebrity. It’s my least favorite part of acting, celebrity.

Music is part of the life of fashion, too.

People think I’m a celebrity. I’m not a celebrity.

I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I’m joking and when I’m serious.

People don’t want drama 365 days a year. I’m a sense of relief; it’s my job to take your mind off what’s bad for that brief second you’re in the room with me, regardless of shape, race, colour or anything. It brings people together, and it makes me feel good about what I’m doing.

I like my fair share of board games.

Besides entertainment and action, I want to educate. You know, as a producer or director, we do have a responsibility to society.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

I don’t get up, get dressed, go out, and think, ‚Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.‘

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Football games are on TV, and it doesn’t affect stadium attendance at all. It’s the same with movies. People who really love movies and like to go out on a Saturday night will go to the movie theater.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

Having other comedians complimenting my work is the biggest accolade that I can get.

We don’t want people to leave the stadium until the game finishes.

I think music is something that can, and should, be used to get you into different things because eventually what goes up must come down – we’re not going to be the number one group in the world forever – so you have to have something else to fall back on.

Getting recognized is insane. It just blows my mind. Like, someone who you don’t know at all can just be like, ‚Oh my God – are you Billie?‘

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

I have kind of a funny relationship with movies. I don’t have to see the whole movie to get an impression of it or to let it have an influence on me.

I like a drama.

Since childhood, I’ve been a clown. I’ve always liked being very funny or trying to make people laugh. It’s my original self.

I try to be funny and not ignorant.

As we all know, sequels can be tricky.

My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.

Is there a sharper commentary on American culture and the world than The Simpsons?

You make ‚em, I amuse ‚em.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don’t notice they’re getting made fun of. So they’ll say something back that’s not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

It just seems there’s better things to do in your life than be on television if it’s not interesting, if it’s not challenging, if it’s not fun. You know? When it stops being those things for me, I’ll stop making television.

I was very honored to get to be part of ‚American Idol.‘

I think the thing we see is that as people are using video games more, they tend to watch passive TV a bit less. And so using the PC for the Internet, playing video games, is starting to cut into the rather unbelievable amount of time people spend watching TV.

You are always hoping that movie audiences are interested in characters and interested in story values rather than just mindless special effects. But you never know.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I’d make one that I can’t get yelled at for.

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in the war – for killing people. We received ours for entertaining other people. I’d say we deserve ours more.

You can always think of something like the Xbox 360 as a super set-top box that can do everything the set-top box does, but then have the graphics to do the games as well.

Music was an experience, intimately married to your life. You could pay to hear music, but after you did, it was over, gone – a memory.

There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’s fun. It’s a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can’t get it anywhere else. And I’ve been doing it since I was 23, so it’s part of my being – it’s part of my fabric as a person.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.

I love Steve Carell.

I say, ‚Yeah, Taylor Swift.‘ I think she is a smart, beautiful girl. I think she’s making all the right moves. She’s got a good head on her shoulders. She’s surrounded with wonderful people. Her songs are great. She keeps herself anchored. She knows who she is, and she’s living and standing by that.

Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.

You can’t reverse fame. You can lose all the money, but you’ll never lose people knowing you.

My music is a luxury.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

People get a kick out of my stupidity.

If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

Ever since I started to get recognition I’ve picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.