witty quotes

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don’t really know where wittiness is constructive.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would be an affront to your intelligence.

I don’t like magic – but I have been known to make guys disappear.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I’d call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Howard Zinn was magical as a teacher. Witty, irreverent, and wise, he loved what he was teaching and clearly wanted his students to love it, also.