TV show quotes

My show ‚The Big House‘ was picked up; they flew me to New York. I’m about to step on stage to announce Kevin Hart’s ‚The Big House.‘ And a hand grabs my shoulder, ‚Kevin no, they just decided to cancel it.‘ It’s a serious smack-in-the-face business, and either you can take it, or you can’t.

Jim Cramer is a very smart man. I watch his show. I just do not follow his advice.

On ‚Grey’s Anatomy‘ I wouldn’t care what I was playing – I would play a corpse, ‚cause I love it that much. It is deep true love, and it will never die.

Dude, maybe not everyone loves ‚Glee.‘ Me included. I watched 10 minutes and it wasn’t my thing.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

I’m used to seeing it, but it’s weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it’s kind of surreal to have one in your house.

When you say, ‚I spent my summers at the Jersey Shore,‘ people always say, ‚Oh, really?‘ They think of the TV show. So I just say, ‚A cute little harbor town in New Jersey.‘

NBC had a show called ‚The Toughest Bouncer in America‘ that I did. But I told them I didn’t like that term, ‚bouncer.‘ To me, it’s offensive. A bouncer likes to get physical, likes to put his hands on people.

‚The Simpsons‘ appearances were great fun. But I don’t take them too seriously. I think ‚The Simpsons‘ have treated my disability responsibly.

We were on for six years. We were in syndication for a while. It had its run. I still see the people from ‚Mr. Belvedere,‘ too. We stay in touch.

When you make a TV show, they always say you’re a guest in someone’s home. Online, you’re a guest in someone’s face. So that’s why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I’m in your face.

SNL is a home. You’ve got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it’s a great time.

I’ve been invited to do ‚Dancing With the Stars‘ three times, but Lifetime said no.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.