funny anecdote quotes

When I was 16… I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because… they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I had been playing for a while, and I asked Louisville Slugger to send me a dozen flame treated bats. But when I got it, I realized they had sent me a box of ashes.