drinking quotes

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn’t care to drink with, even if he drank.

Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.

I’ll promise to go easier on drinking and to get to bed earlier, but not for you, fifty thousand dollars, or two-hundred and fifty thousand dollars will I give up women. They’re too much fun.

I don’t like drinking, basically.

A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he’s going to get sick on it.

Don’t be getting sloppy drunk and telling them dirty jokes.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

I learned early to drink beer, wine and whiskey. And I think I was about 5 when I first chewed tobacco.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

I’ve just had eighteen straight whiskies. I think that’s the record.

There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking; as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.

That I be not as those are who spend the day in complaining of headache and the night in drinking the wine which gives the headache!

Melancholy, indeed, should be diverted by every means but drinking.

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.

I’ve stopped drinking, but only while I’m asleep.

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.