To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukaemia with leeches.

Let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workingmen of all countries, unite!

A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas.

In socialism, private property is anathema, and equal distribution of income the first consideration. In capitalism, private property is cardinal, and distribution left to ensue from the play of free contract and selfish interest on that basis, no matter what anomalies it may present.

Home life is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo.

Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.

Concede that the new government of Louisiana is only to what it should be, as the egg is to the fowl; we shall sooner have the fowl by hatching the egg than by smashing it.

As with the Christian religion, the worst advertisement for Socialism is its adherents.

The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects.

The sovereign cure for worry is prayer.

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad.

A statesman who confines himself to popular legislation – or, for the matter of that, a playwright who confines himself to popular plays – is like a blind man’s dog who goes wherever the blind man pulls him, on the ground that both of them want to go to the same place.

Life would pall if it were all sugar; salt is bitter if taken by itself; but when tasted as part of the dish, it savours the meat. Difficulties are the salt of life.

There is a specter haunting Europe, the specter of Communism.

Making music is like shopping for me. Every song is like a new pair of shoes.

I would remind you the lesser of two socialists is still a socialist.

As you heat the planet up, it’s just like boiling a pot.

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That’s the way the mind of man operates.

He who loves practice without theory is like the sailor who boards ship without a rudder and compass and never knows where he may cast.

Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.

What is straight? A line can be straight, or a street, but the human heart, oh, no, it’s curved like a road through mountains.

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away.

The only fundamental and possible socialism is the socialisation of the selective breeding of man.

They talk about the failure of socialism but where is the success of capitalism in Africa, Asia and Latin America?

The infectiousness of crime is like that of the plague.

A man who says that no patriot should attack the war until it is over… is saying no good son should warn his mother of a cliff until she has fallen.

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all – the apathy of human beings.

The Revolution did not assume a socialist nature because of support from the U.S.S.R.; it was the other way around: support from the U.S.S.R. was produced by the socialist nature of the Cuban Revolution. To such a degree, that when the U.S.S.R. disappears, Cuba keeps on being socialist.

I have a theory about the human mind. A brain is a lot like a computer. It will only take so many facts, and then it will go on overload and blow up.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.

Cutting the deficit by gutting our investments in innovation and education is like lightening an overloaded airplane by removing its engine. It may make you feel like you’re flying high at first, but it won’t take long before you feel the impact.

A great empire, like a great cake, is most easily diminished at the edges.

Well, Marx is having a comeback. I hear him mentioned a lot in terms of the global financial situation and the general sense of injustice out there. A lot of economic experts in America refer to him without actually using the M word, but he’s around.

Homeland or death! Socialism or death! We shall overcome!

Governing a great nation is like cooking a small fish – too much handling will spoil it.

The Cuban model doesn’t even work for us anymore.

From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.

The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other peoples‘ money.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That’s what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

Painting, I think it’s like jazz.

Socialism never arises in the earlier phases of capitalism, as, for instance, among the pioneers of civilisation in a country where there is plenty of land available for private appropriation by the last comer.

Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

If you’re trying to create a company, it’s like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingredients in the right proportion.

The Church is like a great tree whose roots must be energetically anchored in the earth while its leaves are serenely exposed to the bright sunlight. In this way, she sums up a whole gamut of beats in a single living and all-embracing act, each one of which corresponds to a particular degree or a possible form of spiritualisation.

I did have two dads; one was a socialist, and one was a capitalist. I really decided I would rather be a capitalist.

The spread of civilisation may be likened to a fire; first, a feeble spark, next a flickering flame, then a mighty blaze, ever increasing in speed and power.

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

Rebellion without truth is like spring in a bleak, arid desert.

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

At times, I’ve referred to Christ’s miracles, and have said, ‚Well, Christ multiplied the fish and the loaves to feed the people. That is precisely what we want to do with the Revolution and socialism.‘

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Music is not math. It’s science. You keep mixing the stuff up until it blows up on you, or it becomes this incredible potion.

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.