There was once a caustic comment from someone suggesting I was breeding a new race. Fans from different countries have married, amazing things like that. I’ve been to some of the weddings. I went to one here the other day, a pagan ceremony.

There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages.

Marriage is the most wonderful thing ever.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Not cohabitation but consensus constitutes marriage.

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.

I want to marry Arline because I love her – which means I want to take care of her. That is all there is to it. I want to take care of her. I am anxious for the responsibilities and uncertainties of taking care of the girl I love.

I like actors very much, but to marry one would be like marrying your brother. You look too much alike in the mirror.

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose.

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it – and sometimes three.

There is, hidden or flaunted, a sword between the sexes till an entire marriage reconciles them.

My wife thinks she’s better than me at puzzles. I haven’t given in on that one yet.

We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: ‚Boy, you are skinny, aren’t you?‘ I said: ‚Honey, I’d like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.‘

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

As you get older, you have more responsibilities; you have more commitments, more events, kids, you’re married now. You still have all the things that you’ve had, plus you just keep adding.

I’ll tell you one thing, since I’m married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me.

In terms of the legal matter of creating a contract between two people that’s called marriage, and allowing them to live together with the protection of law, it seems to me is the way we should be moving in this country.

Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I had real plans for my next decade and felt I’d worked hard enough to earn it. Will I really not live to see my children married? To watch the World Trade Center rise again? To read – if not indeed write – the obituaries of elderly villains like Henry Kissinger and Joseph Ratzinger?

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

When I was married, I definitely went through a lying period.

I’m half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I’d be in a hell of a mess!

He that has not got a wife is not yet a complete man.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

You don’t sign up for a divorce when you get married. It’s very painful. But it’s taught me a great deal about myself.

I have Muslim members of my family. I have lived in Muslim countries.

I was married a few times, and one of my husbands was jealous of me writing.

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone’s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really.

I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman.

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.

To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

Marriage is the most natural state of man, and… the state in which you will find solid happiness.

Married or single, you sisters possess distinctive capabilities and special intuition you have received as gifts from God. We brethren cannot duplicate your unique influence.

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.

I give unto my wife my second best bed with the furniture.

Well I think a lot of times we’re putting things off and I’m going to do it later. I’m going to break this bad habit or I’m going to pursue this dream or I’m going to treat my spouse better.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives‘ mouths.

Remember, it’s as easy to marry a rich woman as a poor woman.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

My mother was born in Baltimore, and before her marriage, she was an artist and teacher of art.

If I get married, I want to be very married.

That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

We want our marriage to be a triumph, not a tragedy.

Alimony – the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

My father moved to Hawaii from Brooklyn and my mother came there as a child from the Philippines. They met at a show where my dad was playing percussion. My mom was a hula dancer.

I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it’s absolutely true.

I opposed the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996. It should be repealed and I will vote for its repeal on the Senate floor. I will also oppose any proposal to amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gays and lesbians from marrying.

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.

Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men’s nurses.

In our monogamous part of the world, to marry means to halve one’s rights and double one’s duties.

Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?