There is a rumour going around that I have found God. I think this is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.

I believe that God has planted in every heart the desire to live in freedom.

Great thoughts and a pure heart, that is what we should ask from God.

The most effective prayers are usually the simple prayers.

A serious writer is not to be confounded with a solemn writer. A serious writer may be a hawk or a buzzard or even a popinjay, but a solemn writer is always a bloody owl.

I have learned to know God. I have recast my social belief… All my admirers are married; most of my friends are dead; and I stand with all the world before me, where to choose a path to make in it.

When you seek the presence of your creative Spirit and are filled with passion about virtually everything you undertake, you’ll successfully remove the roadblocks from your life and enjoy the active presence of Spirit.

By having a reverence for life, we enter into a spiritual relation with the world By practicing reverence for life we become good, deep, and alive.

Existence precedes and rules essence.

Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.

I believe that having a spiritual life is so important in everybody’s life.

God’s mercy and grace give me hope – for myself, and for our world.

What then do you call your soul? What idea have you of it? You cannot of yourselves, without revelation, admit the existence within you of anything but a power unknown to you of feeling and thinking.

Start with God – the first step in learning is bowing down to God; only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning.

My husband calls me ‚catfish.‘ He says I’m all mouth and no brains.

Now, God be praised, that to believing souls gives light in darkness, comfort in despair.

There’s place and means for every man alive.

Chris Rock does the political thing really well, but that never worked for me.

For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.

There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at.

Since the very beginning, Emeril’s had a sense of humor about me calling him names and poking fun at him.

Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence but also internal violence of spirit. You not only refuse to shoot a man, but you refuse to hate him.

It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.

This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he’s Frank and in Chicago he’s Ernest.

Lord, help my poor soul.

As we regularly spend time reading God’s Word and talking to Him in prayer, we put ourselves in position for Him to do things in our lives we could never do on our own.

Our personal intelligence is everlasting and divine.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

Thank God, I never was cheerful. I come from the happy stock of the Mathers, who, as you remember, passed sweet mornings reflecting on the goodness of God and the damnation of infants.

It’s very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that’s not really needed does help the rhythm of it. It’s a gut feeling.

What was God doing before the divine creation?

In times of need, God can come to you in a myriad of disguises.

Between us and heaven or hell there is only life, which is the frailest thing in the world.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

I used to pray that God would make me a great athlete, and He never did.

The more unintelligent a man is, the less mysterious existence seems to him.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

It has been discovered that all the world is made of the same atoms, that the stars are of the same stuff as ourselves. It then becomes a question of where our stuff came from. Not just where did life come from, or where did the earth come from, but where did the stuff of life and of the earth come from?

If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.

I’m fascinated by the fact that we can’t grasp anything about time.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

Non-violence requires a double faith, faith in God and also faith in man.

Man has throughout the ages been seeking something beyond himself, beyond material welfare – something we call truth or God or reality, a timeless state – something that cannot be disturbed by circumstances, by thought or by human corruption.

I always ask God to work through me and let me be a light of some kind and help in this world, so I always pray for that, and I always want to do good.

I’ve had faith my whole life that there was someone looking out for me, a spirit guide, a soul guide.

You can be rich in spirit, kindness, love and all those things that you can’t put a dollar sign on.

You were not created to just get by with an average, unrewarding, or unfulfilling life. God created you to leave your mark on this generation.

Either he’s dead or my watch has stopped.

Love is anterior to life, posterior to death, initial of creation, and the exponent of breath.

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

The Word of God is active, energizing, sharp and powerful like a two-edged sword.

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn’t, than live as if there isn’t and to die to find out that there is.

Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic – you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.

But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.

Don’t let anybody make you think God chose America as His divine messianic force to be a sort of policeman of the whole world.