There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

The reason why men do not obey us, is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.

For good nurture and education implant good constitutions.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

This has been my life for many years; one role feeds the other.

Natural abilities are like natural plants, that need pruning by study; and studies themselves do give forth directions too much at large, except they be bounded in by experience.

It’s not catastrophes, murders, deaths, diseases, that age and kill us; it’s the way people look and laugh, and run up the steps of omnibuses.

The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.

I’d love to date somebody cool, fun, funny.

The difference between a misfortune and a calamity is this: If Gladstone fell into the Thames, it would be a misfortune. But if someone dragged him out again, that would be a calamity.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

My mother is from another time – the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that’s what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn’t know what I’m talking about. I know if I wasn’t her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.

All men hate the nagging.

Men willingly believe what they wish.

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

The eyes are more exact witnesses than the ears.

Friendship… is not something you learn in school. But if you haven’t learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven’t learned anything.

If you look at me close enough, there’s a small resemblance to a chicken nugget. I don’t know if it’s my skin texture or my hair, but the resemblance is definitely there.

I’m half-Irish, half-Dutch, and I was born in Belgium. If I was a dog, I’d be in a hell of a mess!

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

No driver is perfect.

The direction in which education starts a man will determine his future in life.

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.

Wisdom is the right use of knowledge. To know is not to be wise. Many men know a great deal, and are all the greater fools for it. There is no fool so great a fool as a knowing fool. But to know how to use knowledge is to have wisdom.

You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it’s humorous, all the attention to it, because it’s hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that’s happened to me.

Because of my wrestling background, nothing a director can throw at me on a set can faze me.

Every three months, I’ll say, ‚Honey, I think I should learn how to cook‘.

Read a record number of books in a given month. If you’re focused on intellectual growth, train yourself to study harder and longer than ever before.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

A lot of truth is said in jest.

If we weren’t all crazy, we’d just go insane.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

There are three methods to gaining wisdom. The first is reflection, which is the highest. The second is limitation, which is the easiest. The third is experience, which is the bitterest.

Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper.

For an occurrence to become an adventure, it is necessary and sufficient for one to recount it.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

Every once in a while I get the highly inappropriate proposal which is like, ‚Wow, Really! You don’t even know me and I don’t know you at all, and you want that to happen? Tonight? Ok, I get off work at 7.30.‘

If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it’s an incomparable experience.

Start with God – the first step in learning is bowing down to God; only fools thumb their noses at such wisdom and learning.

Mastery, I learned, was not something genetic, or for a lucky few. It is something we can all attain if get rid of some misconceptions and gain clarity as to the required path.

I don’t care about age. Nor do I care about those who do not accept the science. I don’t have as much experience, and therefore I listen more. But I also have the right to express my opinion, no matter my age.

It’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election.

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

I really learned to sing in church, I think, really with emotion.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

The wild Indian power of escaping observation, even where there is little or no cover to hide in, was probably slowly acquired in hard hunting and fighting lessons while trying to approach game, take enemies by surprise, or get safely away when compelled to retreat.

When you write your first book aged 25 or so, you have 25 years of experience, albeit much of it juvenile experience. The second book comes after an extra year sitting in bookshops. Pretty soon, you begin to run on empty.

I should be a postage stamp, because that’s the only way I’ll ever get licked. I’m beautiful. I’m fast. I’m so mean I make medicine sick. I can’t possibly be beat.

If men were angels, no government would be necessary.

When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ‚em, ‚Certainly I can!‘ Then get busy and find out how to do it.

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

When hiring somebody, I never ask to see a curriculum vitae. I feel that since I didn’t have one myself, it would be a bit presumptuous to ask to see anyone else’s.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

It is indeed a matter of great difficulty to discover, and effectually to distinguish, the true motions of particular bodies from the apparent because the parts of that immovable space, in which those motions are performed, do by no means come under the observation of our senses.

Our experience of any painting is always the latest line in a long conversation we’ve been having with painting. There’s no way of looking at art as though you hadn’t seen art before.

The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds.

The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.