There are only two things. Truth and lies. Truth is indivisible, hence it cannot recognize itself; anyone who wants to recognize it has to be a lie.

He who can be, and therefore is, another’s, and he who participates in reason enough to apprehend, but not to have, is a slave by nature.

How can sincerity be a condition of friendship? A taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing.

Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.

Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.

He who possesses art and science has religion; he who does not possess them, needs religion.

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.

Philosophers have not kept up with modern developments in science. Particularly physics.

Why are we here? Where do we come from? Traditionally, these are questions for philosophy, but philosophy is dead.

Study the past, if you would divine the future.

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.

Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.

Our faith is faith in someone else’s faith, and in the greatest matters this is most the case.

If man made himself the first object of study, he would see how incapable he is of going further. How can a part know the whole?

You know, my Grandpop Finnegan used to have an expression: he used to say, ‚Joey, the guy in Olyphant’s out of work, it’s an economic slowdown. When your brother-in-law’s out of work, it’s a recession. When you’re out of work, it’s a depression.‘

In my opinion, there is no aspect of reality beyond the reach of the human mind.

To do nothing is also a good remedy.

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.

I wanna thank MTV and the VMAs for choosing me to be a part of the show because, on this show, if you not an icon or upcomin‘ icon, you’re not on the show, you know?

Death is the wish of some, the relief of many, and the end of all.

We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the secret sits in the middle and knows.

One Buddha is not enough; we need to have many Buddhas.

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it.

True virtue is life under the direction of reason.

It is the superfluous things for which men sweat, – superfluous things that wear our togas theadbare, that force us to grow old in camp, that dash us upon foreign shores.

More gold has been mined from the thoughts of men than has been taken from the earth.

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself.

New knowledge is the most valuable commodity on earth. The more truth we have to work with, the richer we become.

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.

But although all our knowledge begins with experience, it does not follow that it arises from experience.

I’m the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren’t no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn’t know about them.

Sometimes, wearing a scarf and a polo coat and no makeup and with a certain attitude of walking, I go shopping or just look at people living. But then, you know, there will be a few teenagers who are kind of sharp, and they’ll say, ‚Hey, just a minute. You know who I think that is?‘ And they’ll start tailing me. And I don’t mind.

Every philosophical problem, when it is subjected to the necessary analysis and justification, is found either to be not really philosophical at all, or else to be, in the sense in which we are using the word, logical.

Nothing that was worthy in the past departs; no truth or goodness realized by man ever dies, or can die.

If you are a leader, you should never forget that everyone needs encouragement. And everyone who receives it – young or old, successful or less-than-successful, unknown or famous – is changed by it.

Why do I not seek some real good; one which I could feel, not one which I could display?

The infliction of cruelty with a good conscience is a delight to moralists. That is why they invented Hell.

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he’d lie just to keep his hand in.

We occasionally stumble over the truth but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.

Crime when it succeeds is called virtue.

If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be.

All philosophy lies in two words, sustain and abstain.

Half a truth is better than no politics.

If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning.

The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

My old drama coach used to say, ‚Don’t just do something, stand there.‘ Gary Cooper wasn’t afraid to do nothing.

A useless life is an early death.

It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.

Between falsehood and useless truth there is little difference. As gold which he cannot spend will make no man rich, so knowledge which cannot apply will make no man wise.

In so far as the mind is stronger than the body, so are the ills contracted by the mind more severe than those contracted by the body.

To be an atheist requires an indefinitely greater measure of faith than to recieve all the great truths which atheism would deny.

Mysticism is the mistake of an accidental and individual symbol for an universal one.

Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise.

If we cut up beasts simply because they cannot prevent us and because we are backing our own side in the struggle for existence, it is only logical to cut up imbeciles, criminals, enemies, or capitalists for the same reasons.

The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain.

To be a real philosopher all that is necessary is to hate some one else’s type of thinking.

Every man is his own hell.