The problem with having a sense of humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood.

When you have nothing important or interesting to say, don’t let anyone persuade you to say it.

I try to speak plainly so that my constituents who don’t follow the nuances of government like I do, because they’re too busy earning a real living, can understand the issues before me. None of this stuff is brain surgery.

I’m actually starting to like more and more people who have convictions that are unpopular.

I’m modern because I make the difficult seem easy, and so I can communicate with the whole world.

I’ve never been a jealous person, and I’ve never felt built up by someone else’s failure – that’s a cheap thrill.

I’m the most recognized and loved man that ever lived cuz there weren’t no satellites when Jesus and Moses were around, so people far away in the villages didn’t know about them.

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

Fear not those who argue but those who dodge.

Keeping an active mind has been vital to my survival, as has been maintaining a sense of humor.

I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we’re really talking about peace.

If danger arises in the present moment, there may be an emotion. There may even be pain. But that’s a challenge, not a problem. For a problem to exist, you need time and repetitive mind activity.

The second time around, I’ll understand that, as a husband, my wife doesn’t care about my opinions. I just need to tell her the things that will continue to help me stack the brownie points.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

I’ve always regretted that I never was able to talk openly with my parents, especially with my father. I’ve heard and read so many things about my family that I can no longer believe anything; every relative I question has a completely different story from the last.

What I like about the jokes, to me it’s a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won’t be funny.

Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion – towards ourselves and towards all living beings.

You could imagine a language exactly like English except it doesn’t have connectives like ‚and‘ that allow you to make longer expressions. An infant learning truncated English would have no idea about this: They would just pick it up as they would standard English.

When a politician uses the word ‚folks,‘ we should brace ourselves for the deceit, or worse, that is coming.

The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most.

Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Many people listen to what I have to say and I appear a lot in media, so therefore I influence a lot of people and therefore I have a bigger responsibility because I have a bigger platform.

Newspapers are the second hand of history. This hand, however, is usually not only of inferior metal to the other hands, it also seldom works properly.

If you want what you’re saying heard, then take your time and say it so that the listener will actually hear it. You might save somebody’s life. Your own, first.

We are not without empathetic terror when we open Pascal’s ‚Pensees‘ and read, ‚I am the great silent spaces between worlds.‘

Talk well of the absent whenever you have the opportunity.

I am for people. I can’t help it.

Diplomacy is the art of saying ‚Nice doggie‘ until you can find a rock.

Songs for me are like a message in a bottle. You send them out to the world, and maybe the person who you feel that way about will hear about it someday.

Friendship is but another name for an alliance with the follies and the misfortunes of others. Our own share of miseries is sufficient: why enter then as volunteers into those of another?

The prospect of dating someone in her twenties becomes less appealing as you get older. At some point in your life, your tolerance level goes down and you realize that, with someone much younger, there’s nothing really to talk about.

Everybody, to some extent, manipulates. Even children learn to cry when they want something. There are all kinds of subtle things we do to get others to follow our lead, not bother us, and so on.

What I have never been afraid of is to be a little silly, and you can engage people that way. My view is, first you get them to laugh, then you get them to listen.

There are folks who now know black families – like the Johnsons on ‚Black-ish‘ or the folks on ‚Modern Family.‘ They become part of who you are. You share their pains. You understand their fears. They make you laugh, and they change how you see the world.

Writing and cookery are just two different means of communication.

There is a huge need and a huge opportunity to get everyone in the world connected, to give everyone a voice and to help transform society for the future. The scale of the technology and infrastructure that must be built is unprecedented, and we believe this is the most important problem we can focus on.

All men hate the nagging.

Never elated when someone’s oppressed, never dejected when another one’s blessed.

We may have our private opinions but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?

I think some of my colleagues‘ spicier lines are distracting. They draw attention away from what the justice is trying to say.

I don’t like talking to celebrities.

Language is a weapon of politicians, but language is a weapon in much of human affairs.

Counsel with your parents is a privilege at any age.

The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.

Creativity has got to start with humanity and when you’re a human being, you feel, you suffer. You’re gay, you’re sick, you’re nervous or whatever.

Those who cannot understand how to put their thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of debate.

A minute of thought is greater than an hour of talk.

We just cannot worry about ourselves.

I soothe my conscience now with the thought that it is better for hard words to be on paper than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.

One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.

The duty of rhetoric is to deal with such matters as we deliberate upon without arts or systems to guide us, in the hearing of persons who cannot take in at a glance a complicated argument or follow a long chain of reasoning.

In oratory the will must predominate.

When your mother asks, ‚Do you want a piece of advice?‘ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

To me, constructive criticism is when people take ownership of their ideas. That’s why I don’t listen to anything that’s anonymous. But it’s hard; when there’s something hurtful out there, I still want to read it over and over and memorize it and explain my point of view to the person.

When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it’s an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.

So there’s no guarantee if you like the music you will empathize with the culture and the people who made it. It doesn’t necessarily happen. I think it can, but it doesn’t necessarily happen. Which is kind of a shame.

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second.

Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don’t mind laughing at it before you guys do.

Never find fault with the absent.