The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

I had nearly finished school because I was making effort not that bad on that. But there was a law in Germany after the war. You could not make your final examination before 18, so lots of people who were late because of the way had to do it first.

I do hope that some of my dissents will one day be the law.

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I’ve always worked hard.

I don’t like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.

Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species.

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law.

I don’t know the law, the kind of law of quantity and quality, but I think the opportunity of people being able to express themselves and to have the means of production is a great thing. It’s also changing how we’re telling stories.

Nobody is above the law. Imagine if there allegations against Modi and he is the Prime Minister. Should the case not be pursued just because he has become the PM. It should not be so that it should be stopped. I am not above the law.

If the law is upheld only by government officials, then all law is at an end.

Retaliation is related to nature and instinct, not to law. Law, by definition, cannot obey the same rules as nature.

I submit that an individual who breaks a law that conscience tells him is unjust, and who willingly accepts the penalty of imprisonment in order to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice, is in reality expressing the highest respect for law.

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Taste cannot be controlled by law.

In matters of conscience, the law of the majority has no place.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

To live outside the law, you must be honest.

Isn’t it funny how babies laugh a lot? I read a toddler, a young child laughs 300 times a day. The average adult laughs, like, four times a day. God put it in them. He put the laugh in us, but I think sometimes we let life get us down, you know, have bad breaks, and we lose our breaks.

All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative.

When people laugh at Mickey Mouse, it’s because he’s so human; and that is the secret of his popularity.

One hearty laugh together will bring enemies into a closer communion of heart than hours spent on both sides in inward wrestling with the mental demon of uncharitable feeling.

Obedience of the law is demanded; not asked as a favor.

The worst evil of disregard for some law is that it destroys respect for all law.

The most savage controversies are about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

The Artist is he who detects and applies the law from observation of the works of Genius, whether of man or Nature. The Artisan is he who merely applies the rules which others have detected.

The safety of the people shall be the highest law.

Law is always better than war.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.

Let us remember we are all part of one American family. We are united in common values, and that includes belief in equality under the law, basic respect for public order, and the right of peaceful protest.

It was an act of patriotism when we worked to pass a law allowing the prosecution of federal hate crimes in the name of Matthew Shepard and James Byrd.

Act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

There is little success where there is little laughter.

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

I have to be seen to be believed.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

It’s always wonderful to get to know women, with the mystery and the joy and the depth. If you can make a woman laugh, you’re seeing the most beautiful thing on God’s Earth.

You have young men of color in many communities who are more likely to end up in jail or in the criminal justice system than they are in a good job or in college. And, you know, part of my job, that I can do, I think, without any potential conflicts, is to get at those root causes.

Whenever I want to laugh, I read a wonderful book, ‚Children’s Letters to God.‘ You can open it anywhere. One I read recently said, ‚Dear God, thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.‘

Give a child love, laughter and peace, not AIDS.

It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

The only frustrating thing about jail is that I can’t make music.

Don’t join the book burners. Do not think you are going to conceal thoughts by concealing evidence that they ever existed.

In societies that profess some respect for law, suspects are apprehended and brought to fair trial. I stress ‚suspects.‘

Even Gaddafi’s adversaries assure us that he stood out for his intelligence as a student; he was expelled from high-school for his anti-monarchic activities. He managed to enroll in another high-school and later graduated in law at the University of Benghazi at the age of 21.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

I laugh all the time – at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don’t laugh onstage because then it’s serious business.

You make ‚em, I amuse ‚em.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

In law a man is guilty when he violates the rights of others. In ethics he is guilty if he only thinks of doing so.

The people who were honored in the Bible were the false prophets. It was the ones we call the prophets who were jailed and driven into the desert.