The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Speech is human, silence is divine, yet also brutish and dead: therefore we must learn both arts.

I believe in this concept that you learn by teaching.

We are by nature observers, and thereby learners. That is our permanent state.

When I’m on stage, it’s really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It’s funny how different it looks and how it’s happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I’m going to get a bagel.

Some people will never learn anything, for this reason, because they understand everything too soon.

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

It’s none of their business that you have to learn how to write. Let them think you were born that way.

If I studied all my life, I couldn’t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

We dissect failure a lot more than we dissect success.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I think we’re doing a dreadful job of educating.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Have the humility to learn from those around you.

My success comes in making fun of whatever you’re doing. That’s my way.

I feel like I was writing as I was learning to talk. Writing was always a go-to form of communication. And I knew I could sing from being in tune with the radio.

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won’t die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn’t have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn’t want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand.

There’s one way to find out if a man is honest – ask him. If he says, ‚Yes,‘ you know he is a crook.

On the RFactor model that comes with the ‚Pro-Sim,‘ everything is balanced and measured. If you go up on the rear ride height, for example, it changes the airflow and the downforce of the car. You learn by trying different things, which gives you a better idea when you’re on a race weekend.

The only way I’d be caught without makeup is if my radio fell in the bathtub while I was taking a bath and electrocuted me and I was in between makeup at home. I hope my husband would slap a little lipstick on me before he took me to the morgue.

I think everyone should experience defeat at least once during their career. You learn a lot from it.

All that I know about my life, it seems, I have learned in books.

I just owe almost everything to my father and it’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election.

If we weren’t all crazy, we’d just go insane.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We’ve all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we’ve all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that’s a gift – to you and your audience.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

Irregularity and want of method are only supportable in men of great learning or genius, who are often too full to be exact, and therefore they choose to throw down their pearls in heaps before the reader, rather than be at the pains of stringing them.

People may think I’m trying something new by telling stories, but they’re just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That’s what I do.

The instrument that I never learned how to play was my fans. You know, they are the part of the story that nobody teaches you. I just want to do the right thing; I want to be a voice with them, among them.

Talking to a player helps, but in our sport the majority of learning happens from watching another player. You pick up things like being punctual, being nice to everyone, making sure you give your 100 per cent even in training.

Even the knowledge of my own fallibility cannot keep me from making mistakes. Only when I fall do I get up again.

I have never yet seen any plan which has not been mended by the observations of those who were much inferior in understanding to the person who took the lead in the business.

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.

The highest result of education is tolerance.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

A lot of truth is said in jest.

Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

I’m trying my best to keep up with all this new technology, and I surround myself with all these wonderful people that are in the know and kind of help me out with all that.

Of all the subjects on this planet, I think my parents would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

Mistakes are, after all, the foundations of truth, and if a man does not know what a thing is, it is at least an increase in knowledge if he knows what it is not.

To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.

I do not think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There’s entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

I like George Carlin’s jokes. I like his humor. He’s one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.

All travel has its advantages. If the passenger visits better countries, he may learn to improve his own. And if fortune carries him to worse, he may learn to enjoy it.

I don’t look at a man who’s expert in one area as a specialist. I look at him as a rookie in ten other areas.

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven.

People who do not know how to laugh are always pompous and self-conceited.

The funny thing is people won’t let me pay for things. I’ll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, ‚Oh no, it’s on the house.‘

The teacher is the one who gets the most out of the lessons, and the true teacher is the learner.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

I’m a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they’re interested in.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

I would love to study guitar or trumpet.