The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

The only thing I can say is that I like people; I like human beings with their faults and with their strengths.

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

Madonna and I are very different. Just saying. We’re very different. I wouldn’t make that comparison at all, and I don’t mean to disrespect Madonna: she’s a nice lady, and she’s had a fantastic, huge career – biggest pop star of all time.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

He does it with better grace, but I do it more natural.

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Dictionaries are like watches, the worst is better than none and the best cannot be expected to go quite true.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

If I had to choose a superhero to be, I would pick Superman. He’s everything that I’m not.

A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.

Great and good are seldom the same man.

We long for an affection altogether ignorant of our faults. Heaven has accorded this to us in the uncritical canine attachment.

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.

The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100,000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

During most of my freelancing, I made what I would have made in charge of the cafeteria at a pretty good junior-high school.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

We believe that according the name ‚investors‘ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‚romantic.‘

Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.

There are not a few among the disciples of charity who require, in their vocation, scarcely less excitement than the votaries of pleasure in theirs.

You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

In the past there were people who were not rich but contented with their living style, laughing and happy all day. But when the new rich people appear, people look at them and ask, ‚why don’t I have a life like that too, a beautiful house, car and garden,‘ and they abandon their values.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

I should have no objection to go over the same life from its beginning to the end: requesting only the advantage authors have, of correcting in a second edition the faults of the first.

My life is not unlike Truman’s. I can’t go anywhere.

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

The wicked leader is he who the people despise. The good leader is he who the people revere. The great leader is he who the people say, ‚We did it ourselves.‘

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.

Mine is better than ours.

French fries kill more people than guns and sharks, yet nobody’s afraid of French fries.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.

Is it not rather what we expect in men, that they should have numerous strands of experience lying side by side and never compare them with each other?

Womanist is to feminist as purple is to lavender.

What I’m denying is that I’m this cutthroat financier.

Considering their impact, you might expect mosquitoes to get more attention than they do. Sharks kill fewer than a dozen people every year, and in the U.S. they get a week dedicated to them on TV every year.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

I think the word rich is all relative.

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity.

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

See that the imagination of nature is far, far greater than the imagination of man.

Particularly Instagram, people look like they have a much better life than they really do. People basically seem like they are way better-looking than they really are, and they are way happier-seeming than they really are.

Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and goodness. People are just people, and all people have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with a basic goodness.

Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

See how many are better off than you are, but consider how many are worse.

What an ugly beast the ape, and how like us.

Man seems to be the only animal whose food soils him, making necessary much washing and shield-like bibs and napkins. Moles living in the earth and eating slimy worms are yet as clean as seals or fishes, whose lives are one perpetual wash.

As a Western, ‚The Magnificent Seven‘ was a pretty good film. I don’t think it was as interesting or as multi-faceted as ‚Seven Samurai.‘

Writing music is just like writing a book.