The details surrounding both my marriage and subsequent filing for divorce are private, and I had hoped to keep them that way for the sake of my family.

There was the time I bought three cars in the span of three or four weeks. It was crazy; it wasn’t greedy. It was mine, my girl’s, my mom’s. I got Benzes for my ladies. But I felt crazy. You have to understand I come from a world where we’re very modest. But that’s not greedy. That’s nice, right?

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

I wasn’t allowed to go to movies when I was kid; my father was a minister. 101 Dalmatians and King of Kings, that was the extent of it.

My husband says I look like a Q-tip.

I’m blessed to have such a tight-knit family that we can talk about anything. Whether we talk frequently or not, since we’re on separate ends of the country, there are a lot of moving parts, and we always stay tight and find that center ground that keeps us together.

You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.

I was raised by strong women, and that DNA is in my daughter and wife.

Some believe all that parents, tutors, and kindred believe. They take their principles by inheritance, and defend them as they would their estates, because they are born heirs to them.

Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.

Neil Young is my hero, and such a great example. You know what that guy has been doing for the past 40 years? Making music. That’s what that guy does. Sometimes you pay attention, sometimes you don’t. Sometimes he hands it to you, sometimes he keeps it to himself. He’s a good man with a beautiful family and wonderful life.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious; both are disappointed.

When I’m surfing, I’m sure not thinking about the paparazzi. I guess if they start getting on floaties and coming out there in the water, then I might be a little upset.

She’s been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

My partner Donald Trump says that married couples should always have a prenuptial agreement. True, a prenuptial is important if one partner is much richer than the other before marriage, but Kim and I don’t have one.

They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake.

There is no subject on which more dangerous nonsense is talked and thought than marriage.

Accident counts for as much in companionship as in marriage.

I love being a dad. I just love it.

How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is to have a thankless child!

Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.

That’s one of the biggest things. Never being home, always traveling, having different interests and focusing on different things, just the time aspect of going back home and seeing them, you don’t have that at all. It was a big sacrifice but, at the end of the day, it was worth it.

Pfft, I hate Christmas Day. It’s for children and families. Not for people like me.

When I’m writing, I don’t feel neurotic. So it’s better for the family if I’m working.

‚Doo-wop‘ is a very special word for me. Because I grew up listening to my dad who, as a Fifties rock & roll head, loved doo-wop music.

There was a point where I really felt I had ‚penniless divorcee lone parent‘ tattooed on my head.

Someday I want to have children and give them all the love I never had.

There’s no political point worth my son’s life.

It’s not proper for the government to intrude too thoroughly into the domain of the family. It’s inappropriate.

I think a father is important for everyone. If you don’t have, then maybe not so much. In the world today, it’s possible that you grow up with only one parent in the family.

As a father, safety is always a top of mind issue for me.

The great thing about having a bunch of kids is they just remind you that you’re the person who takes them to go poop!

To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

My upbringing was solid because of the people I had around me.

If a man’s character is to be abused there’s nobody like a relative to do the business.

Who will take responsibility for raising the next generation?

I always wanted to be a father and thought it would be great, but it just took the right woman and the right time to make it all happen.

People have told me, ‚You shouldn’t bring your daughter onto the podium, ‚cause it’s the workplace,‘ and things like that. But I’m not gonna really listen to that. I’m gonna do what I think is fun for me and my family, and everything’ll be all right.

Is everything funny? For me, yes. There’s a positive to every negative. Even my divorce? For me, yes. If you go back and look at it, why it happened or how it happened, there’s something in there that’ll make you laugh.

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.

I give unto my wife my second best bed with the furniture.

For me, it’s about the way I carry myself and the way I treat other people. My relationship and how I feel about God and what He does for me, is something deeply personal. It’s where I came from, my family, I was brought up in a religious household and that’s very important to me.

The Sabbath provides a wonderful opportunity to strengthen family ties.

I never saw any of my dad’s stories. My mother said he had piles and piles of manuscripts.

I didn’t have any children of my own.

My problem was my inability to spend much time at home. I thought my family was secure, so I went running around everyplace else. I guess I had more of an effect on other people’s kids than I did my own.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.

I was totally dominated and revered my father. I admired everything he did. He was a great sports person. He loved me. I was his only boy at that time, before my brother Billy came along.

I don’t feel much pressure to fit in. I never have. I’ve always just wanted to do my thing. I have really good friends and good family, and if I don’t fit in somewhere else, I fit in at home.

I like being with my family. That’s my party.

Michelle and I don’t want anyone telling us who our family’s doctor should be – and no one should decide that for you either. Under our proposals, if you like your doctor, you keep your doctor. If you like your current insurance, you keep that insurance. Period, end of story.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Woman, or more precisely put, perhaps, marriage, is the representative of life with which you are meant to come to terms.

I’ve never had a divorce, but I’ve seen so many of my friends, my sister, my family go through that stuff, so I try to write for the people that can’t write about it. I take on their sorrow, so I’m able to kind of express it, or their joy.

Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and of family disagreements.

I used to live with my grandmother. I used to wonder why the other kids in school went home with their mothers and fathers. I wanted to be the guy that got married. I wanted to be the guy with the children and the white picket fence. I never had that.

My personal feelings are my personal feelings. I don’t want to express them with anyone except for a very few people. It doesn’t do any good. It really doesn’t.