The behavior of the crowd at Churchill Downs is like 100,000 vicious Hyenas going berserk all at once in a space about the size of a 777 jet or the White House lawn.

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful than Thor with his hammer. The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.

Video is growing very quickly on Facebook. A lot of people compare that to YouTube. I think that kind of makes sense. YouTube isn’t the only video service, but I think it’s the biggest, and it probably makes more sense to compare Facebook video to YouTube rather than Netflix because that’s a completely different kind of content.

There’s no difference between movies and television. None at all. Except in a lot of cases, television’s much better than movies.

In the United States, we can do almost anything we want. It’s not like Egypt, where you’re going to get murdered by the security forces.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Socialism is the same as Communism, only better English.

Clothes if they are not well cut, you can kill nobody. A building poorly built can kill people. It’s a much more difficult work. I would not compare myself with that.

It would be an egregious mistake to ever refer to me in the same breath as most of the people I write about.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

As a Western, ‚The Magnificent Seven‘ was a pretty good film. I don’t think it was as interesting or as multi-faceted as ‚Seven Samurai.‘

A lot of people have it a lot worse than you do.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It’s like stealing a two-year-old.

As a British driver, you get compared to Lewis and I get that. But when he came to McLaren, they were doing well and had a championship-winning car. I’m in a very different situation so I don’t compare myself to his stats.

Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things.

Man never thinks himself happy, but when he enjoys those things which others want or desire.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

We believe that according the name ‚investors‘ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‚romantic.‘

Even though the risks of death are higher driving than flying, many people would rather drive simply because they feel they have more control driving. The facts are that only a few hundred people die a year flying, and 44,000 are killed a year driving.

There are not a few among the disciples of charity who require, in their vocation, scarcely less excitement than the votaries of pleasure in theirs.

There is no gambling like politics.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing.

Pakistan will never be able to match the Indian militarily, and the effort to do so is taking an immense toll on the society.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

In the past there were people who were not rich but contented with their living style, laughing and happy all day. But when the new rich people appear, people look at them and ask, ‚why don’t I have a life like that too, a beautiful house, car and garden,‘ and they abandon their values.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.

My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.

Is it not rather what we expect in men, that they should have numerous strands of experience lying side by side and never compare them with each other?

Some day, following the example of the United States of America, there will be a United States of Europe.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

You just want something else that someone else has, but that doesn’t mean what you have isn’t beautiful, because people always want what you have, and you always want what they have – no one is ever 100 per cent like, ‚Yes, I’m the bomb dot com – from head to toe!‘

Gospel music is never pessimistic, it’s never ‚oh my god, its all going down the tubes‘, like the blues often is.

Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

If I had to choose a superhero to be, I would pick Superman. He’s everything that I’m not.

If you’ve spent a long time developing a skill and techniques, and now some 14 year-old upstart can get exactly the same result, you might feel a bit miffed I suppose, but that has happened forever.

Jesus is ideal and wonderful, but you Christians – you are not like him.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

The brain is wider than the sky.

I’ve done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they’re going to be compared directly against other ads.

Hell is a half-filled auditorium.

The Old Testament God is a person with body parts and passions. The Church of England God has neither body, parts nor passions, and is therefore not a person.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.

A correct answer is like an affectionate kiss.

A first-rate soup is more creative than a second-rate painting.

See that the imagination of nature is far, far greater than the imagination of man.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The more you observe politics, the more you’ve got to admit that each party is worse than the other.

I think the word rich is all relative.

He does it with better grace, but I do it more natural.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.