Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.

There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.

Educators take something simple and make it complicated. Communicators take something complicated and make it simple.

Though silence is not necessarily an admission, it is not a denial, either.

Often, I can scarcely hear any one speaking to me; the tones yes, but not the actual words; yet as soon as any one shouts, it is unbearable. What will come of all this, heaven only knows!

I don’t think people are going to talk in the future. They’re going to communicate through eye contact, body language, emojis, signs.

The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one’s real and one’s declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

We want everybody to act like adults, quit playing games, realize that it’s not just my way or the highway.

If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not.

I have found that no exertion of the legs can bring two minds much nearer to one another.

We write for the same reason that we walk, talk, climb mountains or swim the oceans – because we can. We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings. That’s why we paint, that’s why we dare to love someone – because we have the impulse to explain who we are.

I think one of the basic reasons men make good friends is that they can make up their minds quickly.

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

We’ve fallen into a trap of ever-widening orbits of contact, and there is a total disregard for the present moment.

I don’t go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it’s contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

The second time around, I’ll understand that, as a husband, my wife doesn’t care about my opinions. I just need to tell her the things that will continue to help me stack the brownie points.

It was that famous joke: What’s the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? ‚Hey, I wrote a song.‘

If Everton were playing down the bottom of my garden, I’d draw the curtains.

I don’t have faith in young people any more. I don’t waste time trying to communicate with them.

When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.

So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.

We shall never be able to remove suspicion and fear as potential causes of war until communication is permitted to flow, free and open, across international boundaries.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

There is always another way to say the same thing that doesn’t look at all like the way you said it before. I don’t know what the reason for this is. I think it is somehow a representation of the simplicity of nature.

Well I have a microphone and you don’t so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

Since childhood, I’ve been a clown. I’ve always liked being very funny or trying to make people laugh. It’s my original self.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.

Rhetoric may be defined as the faculty of observing in any given case the available means of persuasion. This is not a function of any other art.

My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still: you must not want to see everything.

You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it’s humorous, all the attention to it, because it’s hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that’s happened to me.

War is what happens when language fails.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards – the things we live by and teach our children – are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings.

An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

I’ve had moments when I’ve thought about somebody, picked up the phone to call them and they are on the line already, and I think that maybe there’s some vibration, some connection.

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

My way of joking is to tell the truth. That’s the funniest joke in the world.

Every day we should hear at least one little song, read one good poem, see one exquisite picture, and, if possible, speak a few sensible words.

When the players go home, I can’t tell them what to do, so you need to create an atmosphere of trust. I don’t want to think, ‚What are they doing now? Do I need to call them?‘

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid.

Joe Frazier is so ugly that when he cries, the tears turn around and go down the back of his head.

The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.

The major advances in speed of communication and ability to interact took place more than a century ago. The shift from sailing ships to telegraph was far more radical than that from telephone to email!

Eloquence is a painting of the thoughts.

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

People like to hear the word ‚love.‘

I know I’m more on television, and I’m more recognisable than maybe even the players because they run and train, but I just stand there, and my face does all these funny things that everyone can see all the time.

I don’t understand why or how we can bully each other.

Before I speak, I have something important to say.

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?

I am a good listener. I think that came from my schooling.

There was a time when people said, ‚Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.‘ Now they just say, ‚Pay him!‘

Of course you can’t ‚trust‘ what people tell you on the web anymore than you can ‚trust‘ what people tell you on megaphones, postcards or in restaurants. Working out the social politics of who you can trust and why is, quite literally, what a very large part of our brain has evolved to do.

One often contradicts an opinion when what is uncongenial is really the tone in which it was conveyed.