Remember this, folks – I am a Hillbilly, and I don’t always Bet the same way I talk. Good advice is one thing, but smart gambling is quite another.

Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.

I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

Jump out the window if you are the object of passion. Flee it if you feel it. Passion goes, boredom remains.

A word to the wise is infuriating.

I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.

It’s disgusting, but my father taught me when your mouth gets dry, just suck the sweat out of your own jersey. There’s no bravado to any of it; it’s just a disgusting little trick.

Without gambling, I would not exist.

If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive.

There is as much difference between the counsel that a friend giveth, and that a man giveth himself, as there is between the counsel of a friend and of a flatterer. For there is no such flatterer as is a man’s self.

I still derive immense pleasure from remembering how many hod-carrying brickies were encouraged to put on lurex tights and mince up and down the high street, having been assured by know-it-alls like me that a smidgen of blusher really attracted the birds.

It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‚try to be a little kinder.‘

If you want to give up the admiration of thousands of men for the distain of one, go ahead, get married.

Counsel with your parents is a privilege at any age.

There are many harsh lessons to be learned from the gambling experience, but the harshest one of all is the difference between having Fun and being Smart.

I will say this: one of the things that is a pain when you’re expecting children is how much advice unsolicited people give you when you’re not asking for it.

Never accept a drink from a urologist.

Beware of geeks bearing formulas.

We can never learn too much of His will towards us, too much of His messages and His advice. The Bible is His word and its study gives at once the foundation for our faith and an inspiration to battle onward in the fight against the tempter.

Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.

When in doubt, don’t.

An author ought to write for the youth of his own generation, the critics of the next, and the schoolmaster of ever afterwards.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone I love not to mix with it.

If you want to go somewhere, it is best to find someone who has already been there.

The advice that is wanted is commonly not welcome and that which is not wanted, evidently an effrontery.

I haven’t been faithful to my own advice in the past. I will in the future.

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

You have to be practical. So every time I say, if you want to write a novel you have to be practical, people get bored. They are disappointed. They are expecting a more dynamic, creative, artistic thing to say. What I want to say is: you have to be practical.

When befriended, remember it; when you befriend, forget it.

He that hath knowledge spareth his words.

In words, as fashions, the same rule will hold; Alike fantastic, if too new, or old: Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.

It is most unwise for people in love to marry.

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.

He that won’t be counseled can’t be helped.

Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.

There is no gambling like politics.

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

One thing I have learned in my painful career as a gambler is that bragging when you get lucky and win a few games will plunge you into gloom and unacceptable beatings very soon. It happens every time.

To get a hold on boys you must be their friend.

No one wants advice – only corroboration.

He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.

The first step, my son, which one makes in the world, is the one on which depends the rest of our days.

As far as the general public is concerned, I always tell people that you need to look like a dance teacher like you’re looking for a pediatrician.

I learned a great many years ago that in a fight between husband and wife, a third party should never get between the woman’s skillet and the man’s ax-helve.

My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.

My mother told me two things constantly. One was to be a lady and the other was to be independent, and the law was something most unusual for those times because for most girls growing up in the ’40s, the most important degree was not your B.A. but your M.R.S.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

Every time I plant a seed, He say kill it before it grow, he say kill it before they grow.

Let me tell you what I literally told every world leader I’ve met with, and I’ve met them all: It’s never, never, never been a good bet to bet against America. We have the finest fighting force in the world.

If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.

Don’t go getting mixed up in the business of your betters, or you’ll land in trouble too big for you.

When your mother asks, ‚Do you want a piece of advice?‘ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

My advice is this. For Christ’s sake, don’t write a book that is suitable for a kid of 12 years old, because the kids who read who are 12 years old are reading books for adults. I read all of the James Bond books when I was about 11, which was approximately the right time to read James Bond books.