Remember this, folks – I am a Hillbilly, and I don’t always Bet the same way I talk. Good advice is one thing, but smart gambling is quite another.

The worst men often give the best advice.

Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.

I still derive immense pleasure from remembering how many hod-carrying brickies were encouraged to put on lurex tights and mince up and down the high street, having been assured by know-it-alls like me that a smidgen of blusher really attracted the birds.

I always pass on good advice. It is the only thing to do with it. It is never of any use to oneself.

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

I learned a great many years ago that in a fight between husband and wife, a third party should never get between the woman’s skillet and the man’s ax-helve.

In business or in life, don’t follow the wagon tracks too closely.

I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

I have an expression I use as I’ve gone around the world through my career: ‚You never tell another man or woman what’s in their interest. They know their interest better than you know their interest.‘

No one wants advice – only corroboration.

It’s disgusting, but my father taught me when your mouth gets dry, just suck the sweat out of your own jersey. There’s no bravado to any of it; it’s just a disgusting little trick.

Go not to the Elves for counsel, for they will say both no and yes.

Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone I love not to mix with it.

He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other.

‚Tis not enough your counsel still be true; Blunt truths more mischief than nice falsehoods do.

The first step, my son, which one makes in the world, is the one on which depends the rest of our days.

When in doubt, don’t.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.

As president, you can get all kinds of advice from all kinds of people. But at the end of the day, when it comes time to make that decision, as president, all you have to guide you are your values and your vision and the life experiences that make you who you are.

It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‚try to be a little kinder.‘

An author ought to write for the youth of his own generation, the critics of the next, and the schoolmaster of ever afterwards.

I have warned many times about the guaranteed dangers of betting with your heart instead of your head – big darkness, soon come – but every once in a while you get a fair chance to have it both ways, and the annual NCAA basketball Tournament is one of them.

Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance.

No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.

My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit as well as physically.

Common sense is not so common.

In a magazine, one can get – from cover to cover – 15 to 20 different ideas about life and how to live it.

Jump out the window if you are the object of passion. Flee it if you feel it. Passion goes, boredom remains.

If you young fellows were wise, the devil couldn’t do anything to you, but since you aren’t wise, you need us who are old.

March is a month without mercy for rabid basketball fans. There is no such thing as a ‚gentleman gambler‘ when the Big Dance rolls around. All sheep will be fleeced, all fools will be punished severely… There are no Rules when the deal goes down in the final weeks of March. Even your good friends will turn into monsters.

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him run.

There is a time to take counsel of your fears, and there is a time to never listen to any fear.

There are many harsh lessons to be learned from the gambling experience, but the harshest one of all is the difference between having Fun and being Smart.

You must be afraid, my son. That is how one becomes an honest citizen.

If you injure your neighbour, better not do it by halves.

Let me tell you what I literally told every world leader I’ve met with, and I’ve met them all: It’s never, never, never been a good bet to bet against America. We have the finest fighting force in the world.

Never put your money against Cassius Clay, for you will never have a lucky day.

Gambling can turn into a dangerous two-way street when you least expect it. Weird things happen suddenly, and your life can go all to pieces.

I haven’t been faithful to my own advice in the past. I will in the future.

When we are well, we all have good advice for those who are ill.

It may be the part of a friend to rebuke a friend’s folly.

Jim Cramer is a very smart man. I watch his show. I just do not follow his advice.

You have to be practical. So every time I say, if you want to write a novel you have to be practical, people get bored. They are disappointed. They are expecting a more dynamic, creative, artistic thing to say. What I want to say is: you have to be practical.

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice, I would have English Channels round every country. And the atmosphere would be such that anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.

It’s never paid to bet against America. We come through things, but its not always a smooth ride.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

Never go on trips with anyone you do not love.

Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them.

Whenever I counsel someone who feels called to be an evangelist, I always urge them to guard their time and not feel like they have to do everything.

The secret to a long marriage is to stay gone.

The advice I’ve been giving to people all my life – that you may not be interested in the dialectic but the dialectic is interested in you; you can’t give up politics, it won’t give you up – was the advice I should have been taking myself.

Sometimes the poor are praised for being thrifty. But to recommend thrift to the poor is both grotesque and insulting. It is like advising a man who is starving to eat less.

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.

I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.

As far as the general public is concerned, I always tell people that you need to look like a dance teacher like you’re looking for a pediatrician.

Counsel with your parents is a privilege at any age.

I remember talking with Arcade Fire after their first record, when they were getting all kinds of offers from major labels, and I don’t think I gave them any advice. They survived that whole onslaught pretty well anyway without me.

Wise men don’t need advice. Fools won’t take it.

Without gambling, I would not exist.