President Johnson and I have a lot in common. We were both born in small towns and we’re both fortunate in the fact that we think we married above ourselves.

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

I took the vow of celibacy in 1906. I had not shared my thoughts with my wife until then, but only consulted her at the time of making the vow. She had no objection.

Successful and fortunate crime is called virtue.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Rituals are important. Nowadays it’s hip not to be married. I’m not interested in being hip.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

For it is mutual trust, even more than mutual interest that holds human associations together. Our friends seldom profit us but they make us feel safe. Marriage is a scheme to accomplish exactly that same end.

Nothing new here, except my marrying, which to me is a matter of profound wonder.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

I don’t think marriage is a civil right, but I think that being able to transfer property is a civil right.

Alimony – the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.

Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty.

In our monogamous part of the world, to marry means to halve one’s rights and double one’s duties.

We’re so immaturely cynical as a culture. We’re not wise enough to look at an institution like marriage and to really things about what it means and what it signifies. It signifies a place where people can tie the ropes of their lives together so that they’re stronger. It signifies a place where people can tell the truth to one another.

My husband is everything to me and without him it’s just not the same.

There will be gay couples; it will exist. It is not very nice that people who are married – who divorce in three seconds – don’t want protection for the others. The legal system should protect everyone, not just the few people who think they are above everybody else because they are married.

My wife has about everything I can think of.

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.

I really thought I was on the way out. My husband Blake saved my life. Often I don’t know what I do, then the next day the memory returns. And then I am engulfed in shame.

Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.

Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives‘ mouths.

I’ve been very fortunate.

Never get married in college; it’s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you’ve already made one mistake.

We were born with a capacity to grow, love, marry, and form families.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

Marriage is the most natural state of man, and… the state in which you will find solid happiness.

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

I’ve never had a dislike for men. I’ve been badly treated by some. But I’ve been loved greatly by some. I married a lot of them.

Finding good partners is the key to success in anything: in business, in marriage and, especially, in investing.

To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

Friendship is the marriage of the soul, and this marriage is liable to divorce.

No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

I give unto my wife my second best bed with the furniture.

The closest I ever came to getting married was just before I started singing. In fact, my first record saved my neck.

Regarding marriage, it – somehow, it didn’t happen. One fellow in such a big family not getting married is not an issue.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

Take my wife… Please!

My mother was born in Baltimore, and before her marriage, she was an artist and teacher of art.

I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.

When people get married young, you don’t really understand the true definition of marriage.

That’s what a man wants in a wife, mostly; he wants to make sure one fool tells him he’s wise.

Arthur Miller wouldn’t have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde.

In terms of the legal matter of creating a contract between two people that’s called marriage, and allowing them to live together with the protection of law, it seems to me is the way we should be moving in this country.

I opposed the Defense of Marriage Act in 1996. It should be repealed and I will vote for its repeal on the Senate floor. I will also oppose any proposal to amend the U.S. Constitution to ban gays and lesbians from marrying.

I’m lucky because I do get to fly first-class now.

My husband says I look like a Q-tip.

The public doesn’t mind people living together without being married, providing they don’t overdo it.

I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it’s absolutely true.

We were at a beach one summer, and I had a bathing suit on. My wife looked at me and said: ‚Boy, you are skinny, aren’t you?‘ I said: ‚Honey, I’d like to remind you that it was minor defects like this that kept me from getting a better wife.‘

It’s hard for anybody who’s been with me not to feel starved for affection when I’m making love to my ideas. Maybe it’s not meant for me to settle down and be married.

Those Marriages generally abound most with Love and Constancy, that are preceded by a long Courtship.

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.

I’m lucky to work in the most perfect of conditions.

If women were particular about men’s characters, they would never get married at all.