Pooper scooper? Yeah, I’ve done it a few times. Every once in a while, you have to.

A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

I love pets, especially dogs.

I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.

I really want a pet, and I really love animals.

The dog that trots about finds a bone.

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God.

I’ve got four dogs, and I just don’t do dog doo. I’m a diva when it comes to that.