One of the most terrible feelings in the world is knowing that someone else doesn’t like you. Especially when you don’t know what you’ve done to deserve it.

When you have good friends you’ve been around, every time they talk, you don’t give them your full attention. You don’t look them in the eye and stop. Half the time, you’re listening, half the time, you are ignoring them.

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.

Beware of the man who does not return your blow: he neither forgives you nor allows you to forgive yourself.

When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

I have lived and slept in the same bed with English countesses and Prussian farm women… no woman has excited passions among women more than I have.

Acquaintances we meet, enjoy, and can easily leave behind; but friendship grows deep roots.

I listen to music that is of our time and I just get angry.

Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.

I’m ugly.

My greatest blessing has been the birth of my son. My next greatest blessing has been my ability to turn people into children of mine.

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes.

Luckily for me, people don’t scream at me that much in my everyday life.

A lot of the time when I write about the person that I love, I feel like I’m writing about New York.

I want someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them.

I worked with someone who told me they’d never like me. But for some reason, I just felt like I needed her approval. So I started changing myself to please her. It made me stop being social and friendly. I was so unhappy.

Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.

I always wanted to be a father and thought it would be great, but it just took the right woman and the right time to make it all happen.

Vanity can apply to both insecurity and egotism. So I distance myself, because I feel everything.

A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend.

As unique as we all are, an awful lot of us want the same things. We want to shake up our current less-than-fulfilling lives. We want to be happier, more loving, forgiving and connected with the people around us.

The closest I ever came to getting married was just before I started singing. In fact, my first record saved my neck.

If you would be loved, love, and be loveable.

Loving someone liberates the lover as well as the beloved. And that kind of love comes with age.

The best thing is to always keep honest people around, because when you have a bunch of yes men around that know that you’re making a mistake but let you go on with it, that’s when it ruins your mind state as an artist.

It is foolish to tear one’s hair in grief, as though sorrow would be made less by baldness.

Yes, it is one of my ultimate aims – it is the ultimate sense of football: to make the people happy, to let them live some emotions that you usually can’t get.

A friend to all is a friend to none.

The ordinary scientific man is strictly a sentimentalist. He is a sentimentalist in this essential sense, that he is soaked and swept away by mere associations.

When people need love and understanding and support the most is when they deserve it the least.

Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed.

In one day, I have times where I’m feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I’m the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

When I was a teenager, I thought how great it would be if only I could write novels in English. I had the feeling that I would be able to express my emotions so much more directly than if I wrote in Japanese.

Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.

When befriended, remember it; when you befriend, forget it.

Consult your friend on all things, especially on those which respect yourself. His counsel may then be useful where your own self-love might impair your judgment.

It undoubtedly feels nice when you are being appreciated and you get complimented by girls. Who doesn’t like that? Having said that, I don’t take it as any pressure.

I’ve never thought about songwriting as a weapon. I’ve only thought about it as a way to help me get through love and loss and sadness and loneliness and growing up.

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.

I think women go crazy for a reason. It’s not like it just happens.

I seated ugliness on my knee, and almost immediately grew tired of it.

I desire so to conduct the affairs of this administration that if at the end… I have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend left, and that friend shall be down inside of me.

Why is it you always meet people when you look your worst?

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.

I wish I knew why I am so anguished.

Grief changes shape, but it never ends.

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

Talk well of the absent whenever you have the opportunity.

It may happen sometimes that a long debate becomes the cause of a longer friendship. Commonly, those who dispute with one another at last agree.

The correlative to loving our neighbors as ourselves is hating ourselves as we hate our neighbors.

He that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.

Sooner or later we’re all someone’s dog.

He who does not trust enough, Will not be trusted.

How do I know about a man’s needs for a sex symbol? I’m a girl.

In every parting there is an image of death.

The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself.

I think, a lot of times when you meet someone, you feel like you need to appear like you’re not interested in them so that they’ll be more interested in you. But what happens when you start showing him that you actually like him? What’s he gonna do then? Play the tape forward; how do you keep a guy like that? I don’t want to sign up for that.

Do you wish people to think well of you? Don’t speak well of yourself.

I will never be happy without having someone. Going to sleep alone kills me.