One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

It seems that it had been destined before that I should occupy myself so thoroughly with the vulture, for it comes to my mind as a very early memory, when I was still in the cradle, a vulture came down to me, he opened my mouth with his tail and struck me a few times with his tail against my lips.

What an ugly beast the ape, and how like us.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair.

Even though the risks of death are higher driving than flying, many people would rather drive simply because they feel they have more control driving. The facts are that only a few hundred people die a year flying, and 44,000 are killed a year driving.

The only difference between Benito and Bad Bunny is 16 million followers on Instagram. And the money that Bad Bunny has in the bank. Benito had, like, $7. The numbers are different, but I’m still the same. Even my insecurities remain the same.

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.

Our envy always lasts longer than the happiness of those we envy.

Particularly Instagram, people look like they have a much better life than they really do. People basically seem like they are way better-looking than they really are, and they are way happier-seeming than they really are.

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight.

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs.

We are not going to be satisfied by politicians saying ‚we support you‘ and then walking away. We won’t be satisfied until they meet our demands and act. That’s why simply taking a selfie or posting support on Twitter isn’t enough. That’s why we have to keep striking.

We believe that according the name ‚investors‘ to institutions that trade actively is like calling someone who repeatedly engages in one-night stands a ‚romantic.‘

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Earth might one day soon resemble the planet Venus.

‚Kiss Land‘ is like a horror movie.

Man seems to be the only animal whose food soils him, making necessary much washing and shield-like bibs and napkins. Moles living in the earth and eating slimy worms are yet as clean as seals or fishes, whose lives are one perpetual wash.

I never admire another’s fortune so much that I became dissatisfied with my own.

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.

In the United States, one of the main topics of academic political science is the study of attitudes and policy and their correlation. The study of attitudes is reasonably easy in the United States: heavily-polled society, pretty serious and accurate polls, and policy you can see, and you can compare them.

A majority is always better than the best repartee.

If you’ve spent a long time developing a skill and techniques, and now some 14 year-old upstart can get exactly the same result, you might feel a bit miffed I suppose, but that has happened forever.

The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound. The poverty-stricken man makes the same mistake about the rich man.

It’s a nice reader, but there’s nothing on the iPad I look at and say, ‚Oh, I wish Microsoft had done it.‘

Madonna and I are very different. Just saying. We’re very different. I wouldn’t make that comparison at all, and I don’t mean to disrespect Madonna: she’s a nice lady, and she’s had a fantastic, huge career – biggest pop star of all time.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

Fiction is the truth inside the lie.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

You’re beautiful, like a May fly.

My love is a hummingbird sitting that quiet moment on the bough, as the same cat crouches.

The faults of the burglar are the qualities of the financier.

See how many are better off than you are, but consider how many are worse.

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat.

As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.

All the truth in the world adds up to one big lie.

The people who are absent are the ideal; those who are present seem to be quite commonplace.

There is no need to worry about mere size. We do not necessarily respect a fat man more than a thin man. Sir Isaac Newton was very much smaller than a hippopotamus, but we do not on that account value him less.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

I hate what I look like on TV, and I want to look better, and nothing makes the mothers more jealous.

In George Bush you get experience, and with me you get – The Future!

I have found that, in the composition of the human body as compared with the bodies of animals, the organs of sense are duller and coarser. Thus, it is composed of less ingenious instruments, and of spaces less capacious for receiving the faculties of sense.

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

Mine is better than ours.

It would be an egregious mistake to ever refer to me in the same breath as most of the people I write about.

Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.

There is no gambling like politics.

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop.

For awhile after you quit Keats all other poetry seems to be only whistling or humming.

So many people are looking at what’s wrong, and I try to encourage them to look at what’s right in their life. A lot of people have it a lot worse than you do.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet.

As a British driver, you get compared to Lewis and I get that. But when he came to McLaren, they were doing well and had a championship-winning car. I’m in a very different situation so I don’t compare myself to his stats.

In some respects, South African apartheid was more vicious than Israeli practices, and in some respects the opposite is true.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

The brain is wider than the sky.

I think the word rich is all relative.

People should not make me out to be like Jesus; I don’t walk on water.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.