One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing.

We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first, rock ‚n‘ roll or Christianity.

Pakistan will never be able to match the Indian militarily, and the effort to do so is taking an immense toll on the society.

If you’ve spent a long time developing a skill and techniques, and now some 14 year-old upstart can get exactly the same result, you might feel a bit miffed I suppose, but that has happened forever.

Mobile is a lot closer to TV than it is to desktop.

Apple’s market share is bigger than BMW’s or Mercedes’s or Porsche’s in the automotive market. What’s wrong with being BMW or Mercedes?

Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock and roll or Christianity.

There is only a finger’s difference between a wise man and a fool.

What difference does it make how much you have? What you do not have amounts to much more.

Particularly Instagram, people look like they have a much better life than they really do. People basically seem like they are way better-looking than they really are, and they are way happier-seeming than they really are.

Great and good are seldom the same man.

You might say that Lyndon Johnson is a cross between a Baptist preacher and a cowboy.

Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended.

Instead of comparing our lot with that of those who are more fortunate than we are, we should compare it with the lot of the great majority of our fellow men. It then appears that we are among the privileged.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does.

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.

Obama’s not Jesus. He can’t walk on water.

In some respects, South African apartheid was more vicious than Israeli practices, and in some respects the opposite is true.

David Icke reminded me of Malcolm X.

It is far more difficult to murder a phantom than a reality.

What I’ve discovered is that in art, as in music, there’s a lot of truth-and then there’s a lie. The artist is essentially creating his work to make this lie a truth, but he slides it in amongst all the others. The tiny little lie is the moment I live for, my moment. It’s the moment that the audience falls in love.

I have my favorite cat, who is my paperweight, on my desk while I am writing.

Biographies, as generally written, are not only misleading but false… In most instances, they commemorate a lie and cheat posterity out of the truth.

The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Considering their impact, you might expect mosquitoes to get more attention than they do. Sharks kill fewer than a dozen people every year, and in the U.S. they get a week dedicated to them on TV every year.

The ways of the Lord are different from the ways of man. Man’s ways remove people from office or business when they grow old or become disabled. But man’s ways are not and never will be the Lord’s ways.

Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.

If a man or woman is born ten years sooner or later, their whole aspect and performance shall be different.

A cat is only itself, representative of the strong forces of life that won’t let go.

See that the imagination of nature is far, far greater than the imagination of man.

I have more friends in New York than Paris.

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

French fries kill more people than guns and sharks, yet nobody’s afraid of French fries.

In large states public education will always be mediocre, for the same reason that in large kitchens the cooking is usually bad.

Man seems to be the only animal whose food soils him, making necessary much washing and shield-like bibs and napkins. Moles living in the earth and eating slimy worms are yet as clean as seals or fishes, whose lives are one perpetual wash.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat.

I hate what I look like on TV, and I want to look better, and nothing makes the mothers more jealous.

Baldwin thought Europe was a bore, and Chamberlain thought it was only a greater Birmingham.

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and fries.

A majority is always better than the best repartee.

‚Kiss Land‘ is like a horror movie.

The educated differ from the uneducated as much as the living from the dead.

The brain is wider than the sky.

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don’t have to waste your time voting.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

You just want something else that someone else has, but that doesn’t mean what you have isn’t beautiful, because people always want what you have, and you always want what they have – no one is ever 100 per cent like, ‚Yes, I’m the bomb dot com – from head to toe!‘

What an ugly beast the ape, and how like us.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.

For as one star another far exceeds, So souls in heaven are placed by their deeds.

To some extent I liken slavery to death.

See how many are better off than you are, but consider how many are worse.

Half a truth is often a great lie.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

Writing music is just like writing a book.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.