One of the most mawkish of human delusions is the notion that friendship should be eternal, or, at all events, life-long, and that any act which puts a term to it is somehow discreditable.

A man’s only as old as the woman he feels.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.

We can improve our relationships with others by leaps and bounds if we become encouragers instead of critics.

Force always attracts men of low morality.

Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine, a possession for all time.

True friends stab you in the front.

If you want to know who your friends are, get yourself a jail sentence.

Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation.

We’re hardwired for connection. There’s no arguing with the bioscience. But we can want it so badly we’re trying to hot-wire it.

My wife and I love each other very much.

All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That’s his.

Plain women know more about men than beautiful women do.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

I mean, people aren’t continuing like this and not doing anything because they are evil, or because they don’t want to. We aren’t destroying the biosphere because we are selfish. We are doing it simply because we are unaware.

The greater intellect one has, the more originality one finds in men. Ordinary persons find no difference between men.

Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities.

So live with men as if God saw you and speak to God, as if men heard you.

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.

It is fun to be in the same decade with you.

Couples are wholes and not wholes, what agrees disagrees, the concordant is discordant. From all things one and from one all things.

My family is very good about visiting me, and other friends as well.

If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn’t make your house look any better.

My experiences in life are getting bigger and better. The more stuff I do, the more stuff I talk about – having kids, traveling, going through relationship problems, dealing with things in my own family. All that stuff builds character.

I make decisions all day, so it’s nice for a woman like me to go to dinner and have the man take the menu and say, ‚Let me order.‘ Other women would be offended by that, but I’m like, ‚Good. Because I can’t make one more decision today.‘ I want someone to rub my feet without being asked.

Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people.

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance.

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.

Women – always in trouble with them, but can’t live without them.

I don’t eat with beautiful women alone.

I don’t want enemies. I want friends, and I want them in all shapes, sizes, and colors, and loving whoever they want to.

Know your worth! People always act like they’re doing more for you than you’re doing for them.

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.

There are two kinds of people in this world. ‚I‘ people and ‚we‘ people. I’ve always tried to be a ‚we‘ person.

Really, who you are is defined by the people who you know – not even the people that you know, but the people you spend time with and the people that you love and the people that you work with. I guess we show your friends in your profile, but that’s kind of different from the information you put in your profile.

No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

When the people we love stop paying attention, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in.

If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.

I have lived and slept in the same bed with English countesses and Prussian farm women… no woman has excited passions among women more than I have.

Shared joys make a friend, not shared sufferings.

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her.

I’ve told Billy if I ever caught him cheating, I wouldn’t kill him because I love his children and they need a dad. But I would beat him up. I know where all of his sports injuries are.

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

Men and women do think differently, and frankly, we don’t understand each other. Not at all! But that’s what makes relationships so amazing.

It is better to be deceived by one’s friends than to deceive them.

My problem was my inability to spend much time at home. I thought my family was secure, so I went running around everyplace else. I guess I had more of an effect on other people’s kids than I did my own.

I’ve seen my friends take someone back after they’ve cheated because they fit perfectly.

All men hate the nagging.

Love is the one wild card.

Friends applaud, the comedy is over.

Poverty breeds despair. We know this. Despair breeds violence. We know this. In turbulent times, isn’t it cheaper, and smarter, to make friends out of potential enemies than to defend yourself against them later?

In any court-like environment of power, you will inevitably find people who are drawn to those who are successful or powerful, not out of admiration, but out of secret envy.

The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.

In the real world, children love me.

To get a hold on boys you must be their friend.