Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

I know of nothing more despicable and pathetic than a man who devotes all the hours of the waking day to the making of money for money’s sake.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Taste is the only morality. Tell me what you like and I’ll tell you what you are.

Most people say that it is the intellect which makes a great scientist. They are wrong: it is character.

The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions.

The superior man does not, even for the space of a single meal, act contrary to virtue. In moments of haste, he cleaves to it. In seasons of danger, he cleaves to it.

I want to be an honest man and a good writer.

A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.

People are always asking me in interviews, ‚What do you think of foreign affairs?‘ I just say, ‚I’ve had a few.‘

It’s a funny old world.

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.

The foolish and wicked practice of profane cursing and swearing is a vice so mean and low that every person of sense and character detests and despises it.

The book, ’12 Rules For Life,‘ is a very serious book. There’s elements of humor in it, but I’m trying to struggle with things at the deepest possible level and to explain to people why it’s necessary to live a upstanding and noble and moral and truthful and responsible life, and why there’s hell to pay if you don’t do that.

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.

Character is destiny.

I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

I like someone who is a little crazy but coming from a good place. I think scars are sexy because it means you made a mistake that led to a mess.

I have always had a talent for irritating women since I was fourteen.

Truth never damages a cause that is just.

I truly believe the things Notre Dame stands for.

Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them.

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

Character, in great and little things, means carrying through what you feel able to do.

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

Whenever a fellow tells me he’s bipartisan, I know he’s going to vote against me.

The influence of a mother upon the lives of her children cannot be measured. They know and absorb her example and attitudes when it comes to questions of honesty, temperance, kindness, and industry.

I was training to be an electrician. I suppose I got wired the wrong way round somewhere along the line.

There is no hierarchy of values any more. Real progress is due mainly to human genius, and that’s rare, and usually stems from a real elite, from a hierarchy.

Our character is basically a composite of our habits. Because they are consistent, often unconcious patterns, they constantly, daily, express our character.

Honesty is the best policy.

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting ‚All the Gods are bastards.‘

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

More than anything else, I want the folks back at home to think right of me.

I’ll die a crazy old man!

Morality is contraband in war.

I grew up in a funny way.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

Modesty is the color of virtue.

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots, the other, wings.

When men do not have healthy notions of the Divinity, false ideas supplant them, just as in bad times one uses counterfeit money when there is no good money.

Nobody enjoys the ‚little show about nothing‘ humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.

Sense perceptions can be and often are false and deceptive, however real they may appear to us. Where there is realization outside the senses, it is infallible. It is proved not by extraneous evidence but in the transformed conduct and character of those who have felt the real presence of God within.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But… it is better to be good than to be ugly.

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom.

When you stand for something, you’ve got to stand for it all the way, not half way.

It is really funny when people say you’d be obvious for a great villain.

What’s wrong with being a boring kind of guy?

I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility.

No such thing as a man willing to be honest – that would be like a blind man willing to see.

The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

That’s the one for my tombstone… Here lies David Byrne. Why the big suit?

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

Honor is the reward of virtue.

What is permissible is not always honorable.

I have only one yardstick by which I test every major problem – and that yardstick is: Is it good for America?