No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.

I’m not really that girl who dreams about her wedding day.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles.

I don’t keep people around me that aren’t family. You don’t get to stay. Unless you’re eating at the table with us, you’re not part. We eat together, we cry together, we live together, we die together. Everything that we do is for each other, and we care for another.

Aviation offered such fun as crossing the continent in planes large and small, trying the whirling rotors of an autogiro, making record flights. With these activities came opportunity to know women everywhere who shared my conviction that there is so much women can do in the modern world and should be permitted to do irrespective of their sex.

I don’t write material. Funny things happen to me in the course of a day, and I just make notes.

Of all the subjects on this planet, I think my parents would have been hard put to name one less useful than Greek mythology to securing the keys to an executive bathroom.

You can’t have a relationship with a device whose limits are unknown to you, because without limits, it keeps becoming something else.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can’t it get us out?

Being the boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.

Gentle dullness ever loves a joke.

Do not rebuke mockers, or they will hate you; rebuke the wise, and they will love you.

I don’t like magic – but I have been known to make guys disappear.

I take my kids to school. And if I go to work, I go to work, and they visit me on set. I come home. I have dinner with my family. I have breakfast with my family. I have a very solid, very warm home.

I owe nothing to Women’s Lib.

A family shares hardships and a connected history.

Country radio is much more like a family than any other group of people that I’ve met.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

I used to take my short stories to girls‘ homes and read them to them. Can you imagine the reaction reading a short story to a girl instead of pawing her?

Love is an interesting thing.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

It’s a well-known fact that tall people are evil.

The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.

Friendship with ones self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.

Men don’t really like skinny, do they?

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.

I’ve never had a dislike for men. I’ve been badly treated by some. But I’ve been loved greatly by some. I married a lot of them.

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.

Love is when the other person’s happiness is more important than your own.

In the end, everything is a gag.

It’s a facet of the gay rights movement that people don’t think about enough. Why suddenly marriage equality? Because it wasn’t until 1981 that the court struck down Louisiana’s ‚head and master rule,‘ that the husband was head and master of the house.

A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend.

My family has very strong women. My mother never laughed at my dream of Africa, even though everyone else did because we didn’t have any money, because Africa was the ‚dark continent‘, and because I was a girl.

People may think I’m trying something new by telling stories, but they’re just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That’s what I do.

Men are by nature merely indifferent to one another; but women are by nature enemies.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

As I grow up, the lessons I learn in love and relationships and how we treat each other are hopefully maturing – hopefully.

If women believed in their husbands they would be a good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.

People hate as they love, unreasonably.

I would just say there is one misperception of our veterans, and that is they are somehow damaged goods. I don’t buy it.

Perhaps people like us cannot love. Ordinary people can – that is their secret.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

I think that you can love people without it being the great love.

For most of us, relationship with another is based on dependence, either economic or psychological. This dependence creates fear, breeds in us possessiveness, results in friction, suspicion, frustration.

There’s nothing like white trash at the White House.

If I am not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don’t want to go there.

The true worth of a man is not to be found in man himself, but in the colours and textures that come alive in others.

I’ve told Billy if I ever caught him cheating, I wouldn’t kill him because I love his children and they need a dad. But I would beat him up. I know where all of his sports injuries are.

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

I want to thank God, obviously for the health, for the talent He’s given me, for my family who supports me, for the things that basketball’s taught me on and off the court. For the people that I’ve been able to meet through the game of basketball.

I’m drawn to bad romances.

Every parting gives a foretaste of death, every reunion a hint of the resurrection.

Teach a parrot the terms ‚supply and demand‘ and you’ve got an economist.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love.

Men and women aren’t the same. And they won’t be the same. That doesn’t mean that they can’t be treated fairly.

We’re so immaturely cynical as a culture. We’re not wise enough to look at an institution like marriage and to really things about what it means and what it signifies. It signifies a place where people can tie the ropes of their lives together so that they’re stronger. It signifies a place where people can tell the truth to one another.

It is very hard to not be able to engage with people in a real and honest way because they either want something from me, or they see me as something that I simply am not.

If I ever had twins, I’d use one for parts.