My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

People are already finding ways to make their music and play it in front of people and have a life in music, I guess, and I think that’s pretty much all you can ask.

I really focus on my jeans and sweaters for them to fit really well. There was a time that wasn’t the case.

If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

The companies that work are the ones that people really care about and have a vision for the world so do something you like.

O, you men who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn or misanthropic, how greatly do you wrong me. You do not know the secret cause which makes me seem that way to you, and I would have ended my life – it was only my art that held me back. Ah, it seemed impossible to leave the world until I had brought forth all that I felt was within me.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Thirty-three-years-old, still creating art. It’s rage, it’s creativity, it’s pain, it’s hurt, but it’s the opportunity to still have my voice get out there through music.

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written with his own blood.

Writing is like a ‚lust,‘ or like ‚scratching when you itch.‘ Writing comes as a result of a very strong impulse, and when it does come, I, for one, must get it out.

It’s passionately interesting for me that the things that I learned in a small town, in a very modest home, are just the things that I believe have won the election.

One of the things I’ve never been accused of is not caring about people.

Believe it or not, I make myself laugh. Sometimes when I have thoughts or say some things that are funny, it just makes me laugh, and I don’t mind laughing at it before you guys do.

I think my style is probably more of a classic look.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.

Acting is just a way of making a living, the family is life.

Let your heart feel for the afflictions and distress of everyone, and let your hand give in proportion to your purse.

Man, the living creature, the creating individual, is always more important than any established style or system.

Fashion is very important. It is life-enhancing and, like everything that gives pleasure, it is worth doing well.

If one has fear, there can be no initiative in the creative sense of the word. To have initiative in this sense is to do something original – to do it spontaneously, naturally, without being guided, forced, controlled. It is to do something which you love to do.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

I won’t belong to any organization that would have me as a member.

All genuinely intellectual work is humorous.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

If it wasn’t for baseball, I’d be in either the penitentiary or the cemetery.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there’s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.

I feel like people can relate to me because we all go through wins and roadblocks and passion and pain, and it’s a vibe.

I love to dance, but my children tell me I shouldn’t. Can’t see why.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

Nobody likes to fail. I want to succeed in everything I do, which isn’t much. But the things that I’m really passionate about, if I fail at those, if I’m not successful, what do I have?

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!

It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

God made and governs the world invisibly, and has commanded us to love and worship him and no other God; to honor our parents and masters, and love our neighbours as ourselves; and to be temperate, just, and peaceable, and to be merciful even to brute beasts.

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Let us fill our hearts with our own compassion – towards ourselves and towards all living beings.

All I have to say is basically if performing, singing, acting, and dancing is what you want to do, then you just have to do it – no matter where it is.

I love food.

I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one.

I’m just wanting to make the proper breakfast and keep the house. That’s my passion. At the request of my kids, I’m taking cooking classes. As I go to sleep at night, I think, ‚Did I do a great job as a mom, or was that an average day?‘

By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

We should play free football, defend lively with a passion, and have the best understanding in offence.

The year 2100 will see eugenics universally established. In past ages, the law governing the survival of the fittest roughly weeded out the less desirable strains. Then man’s new sense of pity began to interfere with the ruthless workings of nature. As a result, we continue to keep alive and to breed the unfit.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

I particularly like Twitter, because it’s short and can be very funny and informative. It’s a little bit like having your own radio program.

My clothes are very popular in Japan.

The book of female logic is blotted all over with tears, and Justice in their courts is forever in a passion.

Stand-up comedy is mine: it’s my entity; it’s my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

There’s different kinds of laughs. It’s like a baseball lineup: this guy’s your power hitter, this guy gets on base, this guy works out walks. If everybody does their job, we’re gonna win.

A lot of the reason my look is the way it is, is because it’s really easy to put on a sundress every night if I have to perform – or just wear jeans every day and a flannel or something.