My life has been one great big joke, a dance that’s walked a song that’s spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself.

Being a full human being is difficult, frightening, and problematical.

I don’t know how to have a normal relationship because I try to act normal and love from a normal place and live a normal life, but there is sort of an abnormal magnifying glass, like telescope lens, on everything that happens.

But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

I have never smuggled anything in my life. Why, then, do I feel an uneasy sense of guilt on approaching a customs barrier?

It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to have to paint it.

Since childhood, I’ve been a clown. I’ve always liked being very funny or trying to make people laugh. It’s my original self.

Don’t compare yourself with other people; compare yourself with who you were yesterday.

A man builds a fine house; and now he has a master, and a task for life: he is to furnish, watch, show it, and keep it in repair, the rest of his days.

If we don’t know life, how can we know death?

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges.

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on.

If somebody thinks they’re a hedgehog, presumably you just give ‚em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‚Did you sleep good?‘ I said ‚No, I made a few mistakes.‘

Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.

Live your life while you have it. Life is a splendid gift. There is nothing small in it. Far the greatest things grow by God’s law out of the smallest. But to live your life, you must discipline it.

There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature. But, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit.

Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes and seeing them gratified.

We all want to win more, but it’s all about being blessed and embracing your blessings. We have life.

To not to have entirely wasted one’s life seems to be a worthy accomplishment, if only for myself.

It is really funny when people say you’d be obvious for a great villain.

Life comes with many challenges. The ones that should not scare us are the ones we can take on and take control of.

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

How can I be useful, of what service can I be? There is something inside me, what can it be?

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.

In one way, I suppose, I have been ‚in denial‘ for some time, knowingly burning the candle at both ends and finding that it often gives a lovely light.

O‘ What may man within him hide, though angel on the outward side!

If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

Life is very difficult. One of the most ancient of religious ideas that emerges everywhere, I would say, is that life is essentially suffering.

There’s an ecstatic side to writing. It’s like jazz. It just has a life.

A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man.

When we talk about mortality, we are talking about our children.

I don’t think that you can be prescriptive about anything, I mean, life is too complicated. Maybe there are novels where the author has not in the least thought about it in terms of film, which can be turned into good films.

God is cruel. Sometimes he makes you live.

The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That’s why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, ‚Bye!‘

Without stirring abroad, One can know the whole world; Without looking out of the window One can see the way of heaven. The further one goes The less one knows.

In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

People make jokes about my bosoms, why don’t they look underneath the breasts at the heart? It’s obvious I’ve got big ones and if people want to assume they’re not mine, then let them.

I was in a queer mood, thinking myself very old: but now I am a woman again – as I always am when I write.

Tell me what you like and I’ll tell you what you are.

Perhaps I know best why it is man alone who laughs; he alone suffers so deeply that he had to invent laughter.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.

Everything is political. I will never be a politician or even think political. Me just deal with life and nature. That is the greatest thing to me.

Who has fully realized that history is not contained in thick books but lives in our very blood?

I am not the humblest person in the world. I admit that.

Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better.

I mean, families are weird.

If I make music and people hate it, you know, whatever. I’ll die someday, and one day, they will too.

We run carelessly to the precipice, after we have put something before us to prevent us seeing it.

I never think about myself as an artist working in this time. I think about it in macro.

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it’s movement. To live is to keep moving.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

When I was growing up, there was nobody in my family – not even my mother – who I could look to and be like, ‚I know you’ve never said anything homophobic.‘ So, you know, you worry about people in the business who you’ve heard talk that way. Some of my heroes coming up talk recklessly like that.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it’s their fault.