Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

Great loves too must be endured.

If you burn your neighbors house down, it doesn’t make your house look any better.

We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

The second time around, I’ll understand that, as a husband, my wife doesn’t care about my opinions. I just need to tell her the things that will continue to help me stack the brownie points.

I’m working at trying to be a Christian, and that’s serious business. It’s like trying to be a good Jew, a good Muslim, a good Buddhist, a good Shintoist, a good Zoroastrian, a good friend, a good lover, a good mother, a good buddy – it’s serious business.

Time was when they that feared the Lord spake often to one another; I am afraid that now they more often speak one against another.

What sweetness is left in life, if you take away friendship? Robbing life of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun. A true friend is more to be esteemed than kinsfolk.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

If I think too hard about a relationship, I’ll talk myself out of it.

I’m just a friendly person; that runs in my family.

What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

I’ve known and continue to know every one of these major world leaders by their first names, and I have access to them.

He knows my limitations and where I’m a good wife and a good mom.

Why should it be essential to love rarely in order to love much?

I’m more of an adventurous type than a relationship type.

A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other.

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.

To have done anything just for money is to have been truly idle.

Marriage is scary to me, man.

You have to give others the opportunity to love who you love. If they don’t accept it, it’s their loss.

Women don’t try to use me.

Loving someone liberates the lover as well as the beloved. And that kind of love comes with age.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

Jealousy is both reasonable and belongs to reasonable men, while envy is base and belongs to the base, for the one makes himself get good things by jealousy, while the other does not allow his neighbour to have them through envy.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.

I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles.

There is danger that we lose sight of what our friend is absolutely, while considering what she is to us alone.

What ever disunites man from God, also disunites man from man.

Lack of money is the root of all evil.

Well, I thought the deal was, when you went to work for the government you weren’t supposed to make money!

You can’t trust very many people.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

Life’s too short to deal with other people’s insecurities.

Test a servant while in the discharge of his duty, a relative in difficulty, a friend in adversity, and a wife in misfortune.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

A gypsy told me I was going to do great things. I was going to make all kinds of money.

Friendship is essentially a partnership.

It has been hard for me to find it, but I have found love.

You can’t blame gravity for falling in love.

I married my best friend that happens to be a girl.

Jealousy is just love and hate at the same time.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.

Consider the fellow. He never spends his time telling you about his previous night’s date. You get the idea he has eyes only for you and wouldn’t think of looking at another woman.

I’m a cash flow guy. If it doesn’t make me money today, forget about it.

Within one’s own family, money is not the measure of things, unless the person is an absolute Scrooge. Only the most extreme kind of monster would put a price on everything.

When the first big paycheque with ‚Dumb And Dumber‘ hit, I went: ‚Gosh, I wonder if this will affect my performance. Will I do a take and think, was that worth $7 million?‘ But that never happened. If anything, it made me rebel against that thing when people who get rich start playing it safe.

A woman can’t be alone. She needs a man. A man and a woman support and strengthen each other. She just can’t do it by herself.

You’re unlikely to discover something new without a lot of practice on old stuff, but further, you should get a heck of a lot of fun out of working out funny relations and interesting things.

A broken heart is a very pleasant complaint for a man in London if he has a comfortable income.

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend – and he’s a priest.

He that overvalues himself will undervalue others, and he that undervalues others will oppress them.

Friendship is but another name for an alliance with the follies and the misfortunes of others. Our own share of miseries is sufficient: why enter then as volunteers into those of another?

I think that you can love people without it being the great love.

Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives.

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.

Naturally, my stories are about women – I’m a woman. I don’t know what the term is for men who write mostly about men. I’m not always sure what is meant by ‚feminist.‘ In the beginning, I used to say, ‚Well, of course I’m a feminist.‘ But if it means that I follow a kind of feminist theory, or know anything about it, then I’m not.

Too many people measure how successful they are by how much money they make or the people that they associate with. In my opinion, true success should be measured by how happy you are.

Love is not consolation. It is light.