Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.

Arthur Miller wouldn’t have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde.

Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

Self-interest is the enemy of all true affection.

While victimhood in America is exalted, I don’t think our veterans should join those ranks.

Man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, then steps in it.

Our love, our gratitude, our admiration for our men and women in uniform, our veterans and their families – all of that is bigger than any one party or any one election.

Experience is not what happens to you; it’s what you do with what happens to you.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

Guilt for being rich, and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn’t enough and you have to go and get shot or something.

For me, there are two types of people: the young and the experienced.

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.

When I see a story, I ask: is this something I’d like to be in? Is this something I’d like to see? And if I’d like to see it, would I like to tell it?

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.

I’m definitely gaining new fans, and that’s the key of any success… gain more love.

I love our daughters more than anything in the world – more than life itself. And while that may not be the first thing that some folks want to hear from an Ivy-league-educated lawyer, it is truly who I am. So for me, being Mom-in-Chief is, and always will be, job number one.

The honest poor can sometimes forget poverty. The honest rich can never forget it.

Why should it be essential to love rarely in order to love much?

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

If Christ has died for me, ungodly as I am, without strength as I am, then I cannot live in sin any longer, but must arouse myself to love and serve Him who has redeemed me.

It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.

I hate smiling. It makes me feel weak and powerless and small. I’ve always been like that; I don’t smile in any pictures.

I believe everyone should have a good death. You know, with your grandchildren around you, a bit of sobbing. Because after all, tears are appropriate on a death bed. And you say goodbye to your loved ones, making certain that one of them has been left behind to look after the shop.

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Man is the only animal that blushes – or needs to.

My fans saw me get engaged, saw me make that woman my wife, me having kids, me divorcing, me talking about divorce before the divorce, me talking about my kids‘ reaction to that divorce.

The god of love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it’s almost impossible to stamp out.

I’ve learned that we all change constantly. It’s rare to find that person who is growing with you in the same way at the same time, who encourages you to grow.

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.

We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving.

It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.

There was one incident at a movie theater where my girl got mad at these guys who were talking behind us. I never looked back there, but she was like, ‚Will you all just shut up!‘ And I just got up and moved three rows in front. She was like, ‚What are you doing?!‘ I was like, ‚You better get up here! I don’t play the fighting games.‘

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.

The sun, too, shines into cesspools and is not polluted.

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.

It’s a tragedy, in a way, that Americans are brought up to think that they cannot feel for other people and other beings just because they are different. They think they’re different. It’s very limiting.

Love is a serious mental disease.

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.

It is impossible for you to be angry and laugh at the same time. Anger and laughter are mutually exclusive and you have the power to choose either.

I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged.

I’ve learned that usually, the less I know about other people, the better off I am.

‚Mean‘ is a song I wrote about somebody who wrote things that were so mean so many times that it would ruin my day. Then it would ruin the next day. And it would level me so many times, I just felt like I was being hit in the face every time this person would take to their computer.

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men’s nurses.

The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again.

I want someone who can trust that my big hands are going to take care of them.

Whoever does not regard what he has as most ample wealth, is unhappy, though he be master of the world.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

The important thing is to be in love with something.

Joy is prayer; joy is strength: joy is love; joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.

How do I know about a man’s needs for a sex symbol? I’m a girl.

Friendships, in general, are suddenly contracted; and therefore it is no wonder they are easily dissolved.

No matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it.

We do not so much need the help of our friends as the confidence of their help in need.

Love, we say, is life; but love without hope and faith is agonizing death.