I’ve learned people are watching, so don’t do nothing stupid.

It is the superfluous things for which men sweat, – superfluous things that wear our togas theadbare, that force us to grow old in camp, that dash us upon foreign shores.

Vanity is great motivation, to be fair.

Action is character.

Knowing that you are going to die is, I suspect, the beginning of wisdom.

If you’re embarrassed because you have some notion about how men are supposed to behave, and it doesn’t include weeping, then you have some personal work to do.

I’m not good at talking about myself.

Those who have virtue always in their mouths, and neglect it in practice, are like a harp, which emits a sound pleasing to others, while itself is insensible of the music.

Things that I felt absolutely sure of but a few years ago, I do not believe now. This thought makes me see more clearly how foolish it would be to expect all men to agree with me.

Let us not forget who we are. Drug abuse is a repudiation of everything America is.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it.

The less secure a man is, the more likely he is to have extreme prejudice.

There is a wisdom in this beyond the rules of physic: a man’s own observation what he finds good of and what he finds hurt of is the best physic to preserve health.

There is not a sprig of grass that shoots uninteresting to me.

There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From its springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior.

When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.

Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something.

We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them.

If you have the insight of non-self, if you have the insight of impermanence, you should make that insight into a concentration that you keep alive throughout the day. Then what you say, what you think, and what you do will then be in the light of that wisdom and you will avoid making mistakes and creating suffering.

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.

If we were not all so interested in ourselves, life would be so uninteresting that none of us would be able to endure it.

Is it not important to find out how to listen not only to what is being said but to everything – to the noise in the streets, to the chatter of birds, to the noise of the tramcar, to the restless sea, to the voice of your husband, to your wife, to your friends, to the cry of a baby?

I hate pain, despite my ability to tolerate it beyond all known parameters, which is not necessarily a good thing.

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

Every time you think the problem is ‚out there,‘ that very thought is the problem.

I really concentrate on what’s on my plate at the moment and do the very best I can.

The utmost extent of man’s knowledge, is to know that he knows nothing.

I’m a spokesman for myself. It just so happens that there’s a bunch of people that are concerned with what I have to say. I find that frightening at times because I’m just as confused as most people. I don’t have the answers for anything.

As the father of eight children, I’m quite convinced that each individual arrives here with their own unique personality. We are intended here from an invisible held of infinite potentiality. That which has no form, has no boundaries – it’s the I that’s in the ever-changing body.

Everything that happens happens as it should, and if you observe carefully, you will find this to be so.

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.

Kindnesses are easily forgotten; but injuries! what worthy man does not keep those in mind?

I discovered me in the library. I went to find me in the library.

Because of its phantom nature, and despite elaborate defense mechanisms, the ego is very vulnerable and insecure, and it sees itself as constantly under threat. This, by the way, is the case even if the ego is outwardly very confident.

We are right to take alarm at the first experiment upon our liberties.

I am a sinner. This is the most accurate definition. It is not a figure of speech, a literary genre. I am a sinner.

Be wary of the man who urges an action in which he himself incurs no risk.

I am in my own head most of the time.

Wisdom does not show itself so much in precept as in life – in firmness of mind and a mastery of appetite. It teaches us to do as well as to talk; and to make our words and actions all of a color.

You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Analysis is like a lobotomy. Who wants to have all their edges shaved off?

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they’re not trying to keep up with you.

I am being frank about myself in this book. I tell of my first mistake on page 850.

My general attitude to life is to enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, ‚Oh God, I’ve got to do this today.‘

It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems.

Sometimes, I want to talk on a song and be angry, because I am angry. Then there’s always a part of me that remembers that this record lives past my being angry, and so do I really want to be angry about that? Is that feeling going to have longevity?

Conflict cannot survive without your participation.

I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the ‚Boston Phoenix,‘ and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that’s where I first saw ‚deadpan.‘

Everybody, to some extent, manipulates. Even children learn to cry when they want something. There are all kinds of subtle things we do to get others to follow our lead, not bother us, and so on.

It is only in our decisions that we are important.

I am a good listener. I think that came from my schooling.

If you listen through the screen of your desires, then you obviously listen to your own voice; you are listening to your own desires.

I think that I am better than the people who are trying to reform me.

Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

Then suddenly something just kicked me. I kind of woke up and realised that I was in a different atmosphere than you normally are. My immediate reaction was to back off, slow down.

Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

In retrospect, I can see I couldn’t talk to people face to face, so I got on stage and started screaming and squealing and twitching about. Ha! Like, that sure made sense!

Mind over mattress.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.