I’ve been reading tabloids since I was nine. I love a good story.

Early in life I had noticed that no event is ever correctly reported in a newspaper.

I am not a fan of books.

I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

There’s something about being in front of a live audience that’s fun. It’s a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can’t get it anywhere else. And I’ve been doing it since I was 23, so it’s part of my being – it’s part of my fabric as a person.

Read with care, George Orwell’s diaries, from the years 1931 to 1949, can greatly enrich our understanding of how Orwell transmuted the raw material of everyday experience into some of his best-known novels and polemics.

The cool thing about reading is that when you read a short story or you read something that takes your mind and expands where your thoughts can go, that’s powerful.

A great value of antiquity lies in the fact that its writings are the only ones that modern men still read with exactness.

There are folks who now know black families – like the Johnsons on ‚Black-ish‘ or the folks on ‚Modern Family.‘ They become part of who you are. You share their pains. You understand their fears. They make you laugh, and they change how you see the world.

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations.

People are using Windows PCs more than they watch TV now.

A good day is one where I can not just read a book, but write a review of it. Maybe today I’ll be able to do that. I get for some reason somewhat stronger when the sun starts to go down. Dusk is a good time for me. I’m crepuscular.

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

Journalists are like dogs, when ever anything moves they begin to bark.

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person.

Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.

I don’t really read a lot of newspapers. I don’t pay attention to what is being said or written about me. I’ve had lots of experiences in the past when I got too much into it. That sort of diverts your focus.

I can remember being home from school with tonsillitis and writing stories in bed to pass the time.

Confidence, as a teenager? Because I knew what I loved. I loved to read; I loved to listen to music; and I loved cats. Those three things. So, even though I was an only kid, I could be happy because I knew what I loved.

I think television has had a vast, unbelievable impact on us.

I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career – anything for a laugh.

Certainly I’m not going to sit on the Internet all day and read what Sam from Iowa is saying about me. But I’m a sponge. I’ve always been a sponge.

It is hard to read a newspaper or watch a television newscast without encountering someone who has come up with a new ‚solution‘ to society’s ‚problems.‘

I read the Bible to myself; I’ll take any translation, any edition, and read it aloud, just to hear the language, hear the rhythm, and remind myself how beautiful English is.

I have kind of a funny relationship with movies. I don’t have to see the whole movie to get an impression of it or to let it have an influence on me.

More people should read books. It’s the most concentrated experience you can have.

Let us read and let us dance – two amusements that will never do any harm to the world.

I can’t tell you the number of times I looked down at what was going on on the ground, or I was engaged in a fight somewhere, and I knew within a couple of minutes how I was going to screw up the enemy. And I knew it because I’d done so much reading.

The press is the hired agent of a monied system, and set up for no other purpose than to tell lies where their interests are involved. One can trust nobody and nothing.

If you can’t read, the only thing you can do is enjoy the pictures, not the whole story. Reading is the key to knowledge. Knowledge is the key to understanding. So read on, young man! Read on, young lady!

Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.

You entertain people who are satisfied. Hungry people can’t be entertained – or people who are afraid. You can’t entertain a man who has no food.

‚Kitchen Confidential‘ wasn’t a cautionary or an expose. I wrote it as an entertainment for New York tri-state area line cooks and restaurant lifers, basically; I had no expectation that it would move as far west as Philadelphia.

Little by little, not by making big promises, I need to be calmer, read more, spend more time with my loved ones, and be more mindful about nature and environment.

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

Sadly, of course, there is real evil in the world. You watch the news, and you see all of the people suffering and so much cruelty.

The greatest thing about being a comedian is knowing other comedians. And you get to talk to them. Its the most fun.

With the possible exception of things like box scores, race results, and stock market tabulations, there is no such thing as Objective Journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms.

Stand-up comedy is mine: it’s my entity; it’s my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

When it comes down to it, glam rock was all very amusing. At the time, it was funny, then a few years later it became sort of serious-looking and a bit foreboding.

I never desire to converse with a man who has written more than he has read.

I don’t watch television and I rarely go to the cinema, but I recently watched ‚The King’s Speech‘ on a flight. It was so beautiful and so simple.

One thing that writers have in common is that they are readers first. They have read lots and lots of stuff, because they’re just infested with lots of stuff.

I’m not searching for hard news; I’m not a journalist, but I’m interested in pushing to boundaries of where we can do the kind of stories that we want to do. I mean, it’s a big world and CNN has made it a lot bigger and they haven’t flinched.

One must be an inventor to read well. There is then creative reading as well as creative writing.

The book that convinced me I wanted to be a writer was ‚Crime and Punishment‘. I put the thing down after reading it in a fever over two or three days… I said, ‚If this is what a book can be, then that is what I want to do.‘

Nothing induces me to read a novel except when I have to make money by writing about it. I detest them.

If I read a book that impresses me, I have to take myself firmly by the hand, before I mix with other people; otherwise they would think my mind rather queer.

I’m terrible at reading scripts. I love to read, and I hate reading scripts.

If I read a book and it makes my whole body so cold no fire can ever warm me, I know that is poetry.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

You know, we love stories and we love narrative; we love to get lost in an author’s world.

The first book I ever really read was Plato’s ‚Republic,‘ and then I had to go over that five times or something.

I got interested in reading very early, because a story was read to me, by Hans Christian Andersen, which was ‚The Little Mermaid,‘ and I don’t know if you remember ‚The Little Mermaid,‘ but it’s dreadfully sad. The little mermaid falls in love with this prince, but she cannot marry him because she is a mermaid.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

Wrestling is intimate. You can reach out and touch the wrestlers.

Shakespeare didn’t work at all for me.

Four hostile newspapers are more to be feared than a thousand bayonets.

In the end, everything is a gag.

I spent my childhood in the country and started reading even before going to school. There was nothing else in my life but sketching and reading.