I’ve always found, give me a pack of cigarettes and a couple of beers, and I do better with that than I do with torture.

Sometimes I do need to go to karaoke, sometimes I need to relax.

Now that I understand that I’m an addict, I definitely have compassion for my mother. I get it.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

When things get so absurd and so stupid and so ridiculous that you just can’t bear it, you cannot help but turn everything into a joke.

Under the pressure of the cares and sorrows of our mortal condition, men have at all times, and in all countries, called in some physical aid to their moral consolations – wine, beer, opium, brandy, or tobacco.

I’m addicted to placebos.

Meditation is a great way to keep my body well-centered while juggling shooting schedules and recording sessions.

When I was 8 years old I became a mute and was a mute until I was 13, and I thought of my whole body as an ear, so I can go into a crowd and sit still and absorb all sound. That talent or ability has lasted and served me until today.

We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones.

The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort? Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live? I mean, is there something wrong with society that’s making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?

We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.

Getting stress out of your life takes more than prayer alone. You must take action to make changes and stop doing whatever is causing the stress. You can learn to calm down in the way you handle things.

My mother was a professional sick person; she took a lot of pain pills. There are many people like that. It’s just how they are used to getting attention. I always remember she’s the daughter of alcoholics who’d leave her alone at Christmas time.

Gambling can turn into a dangerous two-way street when you least expect it. Weird things happen suddenly, and your life can go all to pieces.

When you get into your car, shut the door and be there for just half a minute. Breathe, feel the energy inside your body, look around at the sky, the trees. The mind might tell you, ‚I don’t have time.‘ But that’s the mind talking to you. Even the busiest person has time for 30 seconds of space.

Having a bunch of cats around is good. If you’re feeling bad, you just look at the cats, you’ll feel better because they know that everything is just as it is. There’s nothing to get excited about. They just know. They’re saviours.

There are alway going to be bad things. But you can write it down and make a song out of it.

If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane, If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane, If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane.

People use irony as a defense mechanism.

I am a professional sportswriter, among other things, and I take the games seriously. It is only one of my many powerful addictions, and I don’t mind admitting any of them.

Rap was my drug.

I feel connected to my generation through the music, but I also fear for us. We’re in a very self-destructive state where we’re addicted to outside opinions and we all feel like we have fans.

Running started as a way of relaxing. It’s the only time I have to myself. No phones or e-mails or faxes.

Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

I found music to be the therapy of choice. I guess it is for a lot of people.

I write songs about stuff that I can’t really get past personally – and then I write a song about it and I feel better.

The best cure for the body is a quiet mind.

I make decisions all day, so it’s nice for a woman like me to go to dinner and have the man take the menu and say, ‚Let me order.‘ Other women would be offended by that, but I’m like, ‚Good. Because I can’t make one more decision today.‘ I want someone to rub my feet without being asked.

A company shouldn’t get addicted to being shiny, because shiny doesn’t last.

I’m in the game of spinning plates. I’m spinning a boxing plate. I’m spinning a Tae Kwon Do plate. I’m spinning a Jujitsu plate. I’m spinning a freestyle wrestling plate. I’m spinning a karate plate. If I was to put all them down and have one boxing plate spinning, it would be like a load off my shoulders.

Writing makes you feel that there is a reason to go on living. If I couldn’t write, I would stop breathing.

It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.

There’s no substitute for the practice of meditation.

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.

Laughter heals all wounds, and that’s one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you’re going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing.

When I write, I can shake off all my cares.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

The purpose of a vacation is to have the time to rest. But many of us, even when we go on vacation, don’t know how to rest. We may even come back more tired than before we left.

I don’t worry about stress. I create it.

Exercise is really important to me – it’s therapeutic. So if I’m ever feeling tense or stressed or like I’m about to have a meltdown, I’ll put on my iPod and head to the gym or out on a bike ride along Lake Michigan with the girls.

I’ll say things that are serious and put them in a joke form so people can enjoy them. We laugh to keep from crying.

As a kid, I’d go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I’d be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

The trouble with Nixon is that he’s a serious politics junkie. He’s totally hooked and like any other junkie, he’s a bummer to have around, especially as President.

I have a punishing workout regimen. Every day I do 3 minutes on a treadmill, then I lie down, drink a glass of vodka and smoke a cigarette.

When we give ourselves the chance to let go of all our tension, the body’s natural capacity to heal itself can begin to work.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

I hid myself in food.

It opens the lungs, washes the countenance, exercises the eyes, and softens down the temper; so cry away.

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.

If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.

I’m addicted to exercising and I have to do something every day.

I suffer from deep depression, so my only release is music.

When people are very damaged, they can often meet the world with a kind of defiance.

When all the routines and details and the human bores get on our nerves, we just yearn to go away from here to somewhere else. To go fishing is a sound, a valid, and an accepted reason for an escape. It requires no explanation.

Training gives us an outlet for suppressed energies created by stress and thus tones the spirit just as exercise conditions the body.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.