In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.

A lot has happened over the years. And while this nation has been tested by war, and it’s been tested by recession and all manner of challenges – I stand before you again tonight, after almost two terms as your president, to tell you I am more optimistic about the future of America than ever before.

My general attitude to life is to enjoy every minute of every day. I never do anything with a feeling of, ‚Oh God, I’ve got to do this today.‘

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

No body can be healthful without exercise, neither natural body nor politic, and certainly, to a kingdom or estate, a just and honourable war is the true exercise.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

You have to like the present; if not your life becomes secondhand, if you think it was better before. Or that it will be better in the future.

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.

My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater than he would ever claim.

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its not a good reason. And then you try and work it from there.

Each day provides its own gifts.

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet.

Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning.

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.

In Beverly Hills… they don’t throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

Barack Obama would not be President if he were dark skin. You know what I mean? That’s just the truth. I might not be as successful as I am now if I was dark skin.

An election is coming. Universal peace is declared, and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry.

Our love, our gratitude, our admiration for our men and women in uniform, our veterans and their families – all of that is bigger than any one party or any one election.

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows – marriage does.

This is pure speculation, but for a period of time, a lot of getting into a party was through fundraising and volunteer work, and Republican women had more time to do that than democratic women, who were out there getting jobs.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Understand, when you eat meat, that something did die. You have an obligation to value it – not just the sirloin but also all those wonderful tough little bits.

I personally never expected anything of Obama, and wrote about it before the 2008 primaries. I thought it was smoke and mirrors.

I think, in politics, half the people are gonna like you, and half the people are not gonna like you, no matter what you do or what you say… It’s like there are no right answers. If there were, everyone would choose the right answers. They’re all opinions.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

Many people, including some conservatives, have been very impressed with how brainy the president and his advisers are. But that is not quite as reassuring as it might seem.

Hillary doesn’t play. She has more experience and exposure to the presidency than any candidate in our lifetime – yes, more than Barack, more than Bill. So she is absolutely ready to be Commander-in-Chief on day one. And, yes, she happens to be a woman.

This and no other is the root from which a tyrant springs; when he first appears he is a protector.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

I think that, ah, I’m a very goofy sort of person in many ways.

With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.

Most people return small favors, acknowledge medium ones and repay greater ones – with ingratitude.

I look at where I’m at today and realize that most of my success is owed to the mentors that was in my life.

Capitalism is using its money; we socialists throw it away.

People say I look so happy – and I say, ‚That’s the Botox.‘

You can call me the bad boy chef all you want. I’m not going to freak out about it. I’m not that bad. I’m certainly not a boy, and it’s been a while since I’ve been a chef.

Governments are supposed to lie to their citizens.

Wow, I get to wake up again? Ok. You have to make good with what you’ve got.

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.

It is easy to get everything you want, provided you first learn to do without the things you cannot get.

Indeed, the Lord has not forgotten! He has blessed us and others throughout the world with the Book of Mormon.

You’re not going to see my sense of humor on the football field. That’s not a place for me to joke around.

In the political system, we are a team; politics and bureaucracy, we are a team. The politicians, bureaucrats and the people, we are a team.

You do the policy, I’ll do the politics.

Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.

Democracy is worth dying for, because it’s the most deeply honorable form of government ever devised by man.

Fill the earth with your songs of gratitude.

Even with all of the things that are so awful, if you walk into your yard and stay there looking at almost anything for five minutes, you will be stunned by how marvelous life is and how incredibly lucky we are to have it.

Let not a libation of tears be the only offering at the shrine of Jesus; let us also rejoice with joy unspeakable. If we have need to lament our sin, how much more to rejoice at our pardon!

Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he, then be trusted with the government of others? Or have we found angels in the form of kings to govern him? Let history answer this question.

For the first time in my adult lifetime, I am really proud of my country. And not just because Barack has done well, but because I think people are hungry for change. And I have been desperate to see our country moving in that direction.

The U.S. and its allies will do anything they can to prevent authentic democracy in the Arab world.

I understand that being able to appeal to the public and having an amazing sense of humour is not something that comes easy. It’s definitely a gift and for which I’m thankful.

War is not merely a political act but a real political instrument, a continuation of political intercourse, a carrying out of the same by other means.

Only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of everything you see around you. Go outside and turn your attention to the many miracles around you. This five-minute-a-day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe.

I have a very strict gun control policy: if there’s a gun around, I want to be in control of it.

Oh, hour of forgiven sin, moment of perfect pardon, our soul shall never forget you while, within you, life and being find immortality!

I have decided in 2020 to run for president.