In the Western Church to which I belong, priests cannot be married as in the Byzantine, Ukrainian, Russian or Greek Catholic Churches. In those churches, the priests can be married, but the bishops have to be celibate. They are very good priests.

Marriage is this grand madness, and I think if people knew that, they would perhaps take it more seriously.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.

Marriage is the death of hope.

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.

Never marry someone in hope that they’ll change later.

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.

I believe a marriage is between a man and a woman.

Marriage is the most wonderful thing ever.

The Bible is clear – God’s definition of marriage is between a man and a woman.

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They’re worth it.

There’s nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It’s a thing no married man knows anything about.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it – and sometimes three.

What is virtue but the Trade Unionism of the married?

You can bear your own faults, and why not a fault in your wife?

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him.

When I look upon seamen, men of science and philosophers, man is the wisest of all beings; when I look upon priests and prophets nothing is as contemptible as man.

My wife and I are very affectionate.

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.

My mother and my father have been married 50 years, and he’s just started to understand that something’s wrong with the system. He accepted the whole thing, you see. Yet this industrious kind of engagement didn’t bring him the success, according to American terms, that he wanted. I was probably affected by this very much. In fact, I know I was.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

There’s a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more.

He that displays too often his wife and his wallet is in danger of having both of them borrowed.

A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.

You would think that a rock star being married to a supermodel would be one of the greatest things in the world. It is.

Mad or glad, Mr. Reagan is head over heels in love with Mrs. Reagan and can’t even imagine a world without her – He loves her.

My wife thinks she’s better than me at puzzles. I haven’t given in on that one yet.

No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.

Never take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.

In our ecclesiastical region there are priests who don’t baptize the children of single mothers because they weren’t conceived in the sanctity of marriage. These are today’s hypocrites. Those who clericalize the church. Those who separate the people of God from salvation.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

Men are April when they woo, December when they wed. Maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives.

We want our marriage to be a triumph, not a tragedy.

Arthur Miller wouldn’t have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde.

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.

Our Nation must defend the sanctity of marriage.

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

If you want to give up the admiration of thousands of men for the distain of one, go ahead, get married.

To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not look at myself in the morning if I did that. I wouldn’t be attracted to a man who would cheat on his wife.

Take my wife… Please!

Where there’s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.

My fans saw me get engaged, saw me make that woman my wife, me having kids, me divorcing, me talking about divorce before the divorce, me talking about my kids‘ reaction to that divorce.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

President Johnson and I have a lot in common. We were both born in small towns and we’re both fortunate in the fact that we think we married above ourselves.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

I believe the home and marriage is the foundation of our society and must be protected.

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Wives are young men’s mistresses, companions for middle age, and old men’s nurses.

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it.

Men’s vows are women’s traitors!

There is more of good nature than of good sense at the bottom of most marriages.

If women were particular about men’s characters, they would never get married at all.

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

When I had to make a decision whether or not an activity was appropriate for the Sabbath, I simply asked myself, ‚What sign do I want to give to God?‘ That question made my choices about the Sabbath day crystal clear.

The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. A lot of times we’ll fail, and sometimes we’ll pull it off. But good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, and that you’ll find support.

My wife told me if there is any rumors about me, it better be about politics and not about my social life.