I’m all about surprises. If you watch a horror movie, and it’s called ‚Kiss Land,‘ it’s probably going to be the most terrifying thing you’ve ever seen in your life.

The terrifying and edible beauty of Art Nouveau architecture.

The celebrity-chef thing, even at its worst, its most annoying, its silliest, its goofiest, its most egregious and cynical, has been a good thing.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

I’ve been reading tabloids since I was nine. I love a good story.

People are terrified of me, and I want them to be.

‚Best Man Holiday‘ was a very successful film.

I really like children to watch my movies.

‚Star Wars‘ is fun, its exciting, its inspirational, and people respond to that. It’s what they want.

The truth is often terrifying, which I think is one of the motifs of Larry and Andrew’s cinema. The cost of knowledge is an important theme. In the second and third films, they explore the consequences of Neo’s choice to know the truth. It’s a beautiful, beautiful story.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

You see the film, you might be entertained, and if it’s not a great film, it loses its power very quickly. I think even simply acceptable books stay with us a lot longer.

I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.

When I was performing the songs on ‚Kiss Land,‘ it was a great singalong. But there were moments where I realized some parts were catchier than the others. There’s maybe two choruses on all of ‚Kiss Land.‘

I like the good life too much, I’m not good at going on stage night after night and on wet Wednesday afternoons.

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I’m doing new stuff all the time.

I have kind of a funny relationship with movies. I don’t have to see the whole movie to get an impression of it or to let it have an influence on me.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

Why, except as a means of livelihood, a man should desire to act on the stage when he has the whole world to act in, is not clear to me.

Nothing surprises me anymore in the NFL.

I know that if I had a television in my flat I would convince myself that everything on it was really interesting. I would say, ‚I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!‘ is so sociologically fascinating that I think I’d better watch.

I can remember earning £5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. They let me commute from London, train on the Friday and play on Saturday. That lasted until my friends at the Inland Revenue decided to take two-thirds. That wasn’t very entertaining for me.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

In music the passions enjoy themselves.

Comedy Central was a great network, but ‚Chappelle’s Show‘ took it to a completely different level. Other shows got bigger because so many viewers were watching the ‚Chappelle‘ reruns. For BET, the ‚Real Husbands of Hollywood‘ has that same potential.

I’m a showgirl, as you can tell. I’m ever ready.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

I’m a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys – movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

I’m not a film buff. I don’t watch a lot of movies.

I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.

Nothing feels better than going onstage and everybody is singing every word – and actually wanting to see you.

I want to play a fireman and a spy. I want to learn special effects.

As we all know, sequels can be tricky.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

‚The Simpsons‘ appearances were great fun. But I don’t take them too seriously. I think ‚The Simpsons‘ have treated my disability responsibly.

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.

My opinion can be completely different after a show.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

When you come to my show, I want it to feel like opera, like a theatre.

I used to rush home to see ‚Match Of The Day.‘ Whatever I was doing, I wouldn’t miss it.

Maybe I’ll give Broadway a try. But you know what would be great? Hosting the Oscars. I promise you, that would be a show no one forgot.

Is there a sharper commentary on American culture and the world than The Simpsons?

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

The sound and music are 50% of the entertainment in a movie.

The PC has improved the world in just about every area you can think of. Amazing developments in communications, collaboration and efficiencies. New kinds of entertainment and social media. Access to information and the ability to give a voice people who would never have been heard.

I like my fair share of board games.

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.

Some of my foster families used to send me to the movies to get me out of the house and there I’d sit all day and way into the night. Up in front, there with the screen so big, a little kid all alone, and I loved it. I loved anything that moved up there and I didn’t miss anything that happened and there was no popcorn either.

It’s not true I had nothing on, I had the radio on.

Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood.

I learned how important it is to entertain people and give them a reason to come and watch you play.

Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them up with great passion. That is because human beings need stories.

I was very honored to get to be part of ‚American Idol.‘

Well, Howard Stern has been doing his impression of me for years. It doesn’t really bother me.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.