I’m a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys – movie-star guys, where they could help me through it.

I want more of my favorite artists or more of the guy that makes the anthems. I want more.

I don’t want a brat on my team.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I’ve got incredible support from my wife and family and people around me. I’ve got great people around me who handle anything on the outside, business-wise, who help free me up to create in my job.

There are definitely designers that I love, people I love to work with. And who they are as people matters. Are they good people? Do they treat their staff well? Do they treat my staff well? Are they young? Can I give them a boost? But when all of that is equal… is it cute?

People get a kick out of my stupidity.

I think the thing we see is that as people are using video games more, they tend to watch passive TV a bit less. And so using the PC for the Internet, playing video games, is starting to cut into the rather unbelievable amount of time people spend watching TV.

I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of leadership are universal and are often about finding ways of encouraging people to combine their efforts, their talents, their insights, their enthusiasm and their inspiration to work together.

It’s very rare that you get a director that lets you be creative and bring what you feel your character should do or should be.

I’m not a genius. I need other people to get the perfect information. When we have this, we will decide to sign or sell a player.

Everybody is entertained to death.

Do not be afraid to ask for help. Nobody gets through college on their own.

Almost anything can be funny if said the right way – but it has to be said the right way.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I’d make one that I can’t get yelled at for.

I can honestly say, after talking about my mom passing away, I got the biggest weight off of my chest. Comedy is my therapy. That’s how I deal with my problems, my personal battles. I talk about it. I give it to my fans. When they laugh at it, it’s a release, for lack of a better word.

Anybody with a sense of humor is going to put on my album and laugh from beginning to end.

And so I think that the idea of America working with other countries to solve problems is good for us, and it is part of digging us out of the ‚my way or the highway‘ approach that was evident in the previous eight years.

If you look at me close enough, there’s a small resemblance to a chicken nugget. I don’t know if it’s my skin texture or my hair, but the resemblance is definitely there.

I love that I can tell the truth and have people laugh at it.

You see some of the weirdest people in Detroit casinos.

I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night – and I’d dream about it being me.

I’ll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies.

I told Warren if he mentions Prop. 13 one more time, he has to do 500 push-ups.

I think if you make a good movie, people walk away arguing.

I’m not a one-man show. I was never that in my life, and I never want to be that.

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone’s grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

I think television has had a vast, unbelievable impact on us.

At Microsoft there are lots of brilliant ideas but the image is that they all come from the top – I’m afraid that’s not quite right.

If you ever go to a music session, you’ll notice that the musicians can sit down and start playing right away, and everyone knows what to do. Of course they’re reading it, but the conductor can tweak little things, and you can take that back to directing motion pictures.

I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.

Seeing a live Kenny Chesney show, you know what you’re going to get. You know it’s going to be an all-day party.

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere.

Barack Obama did tell me that I was one of Michelle Obama’s favorite actors.

I’m a great believer that any tool that enhances communication has profound effects in terms of how people can learn from each other, and how they can achieve the kind of freedoms that they’re interested in.

We can succeed only by concert. It is not, ‚Can any of us imagine better,‘ but, ‚Can we all do better?‘

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

Doing graphic novels is cool! It’s fun! You get to write something, and then see it visually page by page, panel by panel, working with the artist, you get to see it fleshed out.

As the builders say, the larger stones do not lie well without the lesser.

I think the family movie is very important to everybody right now.

‚Kitchen Confidential‘ wasn’t a cautionary or an expose. I wrote it as an entertainment for New York tri-state area line cooks and restaurant lifers, basically; I had no expectation that it would move as far west as Philadelphia.

Funny is the world I live in. You’re funny, I’m interested. You’re not funny, I’m not interested.

Crankiness is at the essence of all comedy. My wife and I were discussing the different types of cranky. There’s entertaining cranky, annoying cranky, angry cranky.

One of the things you’re doing when you make art, apart from entertaining yourself and other people, is trying to see what ways of working feel good, what feels right.

When Jerry Springer thinks you’ve gone too far, my friends, you have gone too far.

Tony Visconti and I had been wanting to work together again for a few years now. Both of us had fairly large commitments and for a long time we couldn’t see a space in which we could get anything together.

Nobody enjoys the ‚little show about nothing‘ humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me. Every night I had a live audience of 25,000 people to win over. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. It was to be the most entertaining.

My shows are not narratives.

I know that if I had a television in my flat I would convince myself that everything on it was really interesting. I would say, ‚I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!‘ is so sociologically fascinating that I think I’d better watch.

It’s really fun to be on stage in front of people.

I try to be funny and not ignorant.

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

The community stagnates without the impulse of the individual. The impulse dies away without the sympathy of the community.

Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it’s dangerous.

I’ve got the brain of a four year old. I’ll bet he was glad to be rid of it.

Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood.

I work hard for the audience. It’s entertainment. I don’t need validation.

My opinion can be completely different after a show.

Even sleepers are workers and collaborators in what goes on in the Universe.

Actors are one family over the entire world.