I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?

The only time to buy these is on a day with no ‚y‘ in it.

I barely can go shopping for clothes. I find it difficult to walk into stores. The whole thing bores me so much.

The funny thing is people won’t let me pay for things. I’ll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, ‚Oh no, it’s on the house.‘

I met this wonderful girl at Macy’s. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

The best customer service is if the customer doesn’t need to call you, doesn’t need to talk to you. It just works.

I don’t know about you, but most of my exchanges with cashiers are not that meaningful.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.

Some companies out there quote a start of production that is substantially in advance of when customers get their cars.

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.

I’ve sat in sushi bars, really fine ones, and I know how hard this guy worked, how proud he is. I know you don’t need sauce. I know he doesn’t even want you to pour sauce. And I’ve seen customers come in and do that, and I’ve seen him, as stoic as he tries to remain, I’ve seen him die a little inside.

One of the things it was obvious you could do with an online store is have a much more complete selection.

I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ‚em on the menu.

We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.

A complaint is a chance to turn a customer into a lifelong friend. I say that seriously, not as some press release baloney.

What consumerism really is, at its worst is getting people to buy things that don’t actually improve their lives.

I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

If you ask the CEO of some major corporation what he does, he will say, in all honesty, that he is slaving 20 hours a day to provide his customers with the best goods or services he can and creating the best possible working conditions for his employees.

I look at other people’s lives, and some people feel like they’re too old to play with toys. But I still go through the toy section at the store, ‚cause there were toys that I wanted when I was little that I couldn’t have. So I still get them.

If I’ve got a problem with one of my clients that needs to get solved, guess what I’m going to do? I’m going to call them up, and I’m going to say, ‚Hey, here’s what’s going on. This is the situation. This thing went sideways. I didn’t expect it. Now it’s going to take me some more time to get you what you need.‘ But I’m going to do that upfront.

You should not build your customer service system on the premise that your organisation will never question the whims of your clients.

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.

Why go to a machine when you could go to a human being?

A business absolutely devoted to service will have only one worry about profits. They will be embarrassingly large.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

I go to Wal-Mart all the time. The one in my hometown of Hendersonville, Tenn., is open 24 hours, so I go there a lot to buy DVDs and stuff like that.

I don’t feel comfortable defending my clothes. But if you’ve got the money to afford them, then buy something from me. Just don’t buy too much.

I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don’t think I’m as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people – which is why I think I did so well.

I cap myself when I shop; I don’t like to spend extravagant amounts on clothes. But, I do get lent clothes for events, it’s scary to wear something so expensive, but I feel really pampered.

You don’t want to negotiate the price of simple things you buy every day.

Making music is like shopping for me. Every song is like a new pair of shoes.

I want my wardrobe to be full of good clothes, so that when I’m deciding what to wear, I don’t run out of options. I love shopping!

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Sometimes, wearing a scarf and a polo coat and no makeup and with a certain attitude of walking, I go shopping or just look at people living. But then, you know, there will be a few teenagers who are kind of sharp, and they’ll say, ‚Hey, just a minute. You know who I think that is?‘ And they’ll start tailing me. And I don’t mind.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

It’s only I have seen enough of it and the funny thing is now, I know that I’m skinny, because I know there are even smaller clothes in the store. I think I’m big, when I was big, I never thought about it.

I’d just like to be treated like a regular customer.

You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There’s another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.

I just love to shop. If I could, I would shop every single day in every single store and spend all of my money which, you know, I do anyway.

Never say no when a client asks for something, even if it is the moon. You can always try, and anyhow there is plenty of time afterwards to explain that it was not possible.

Buy clothes the size you want to wear.

Don’t judge. I used to buy underwear because I didn’t do my laundry.