I think I have always had a little humor.

Hair is about when you’re younger. I am my hair.

A lot of times, people make other people responsible for their joy: ‚You’re not making me happy, you’re not doing this, you’re not doing that.‘

I use a stream-of-consciousness approach; if you don’t censor yourself, you end up with what you’re most concerned about, but you haven’t filtered it through your conscious mind. Then you craft it.

The secret to humor is surprise.

I love playing ego and insecurity combined.

What most persons consider as virtue, after the age of 40 is simply a loss of energy.

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

I learned, when I look in the mirror and tell my story, that I should be myself and not peep whatever everybody is doing.

Everybody has done something that we wish we didn’t say or do and wish we could take it back.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.

We construct a narrative for ourselves, and that’s the thread that we follow from one day to the next. People who disintegrate as personalities are the ones who lose that thread.

The thing that I fear discriminating against is humor and truth.

Testing oneself is best when done alone.

Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.

Well, I was 29 years old when I came to the United States Senate, and I have learned a lot.

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.

I’m a whopping 5 foot 4 inches tall. I’m not going to get any taller.

Do whatever you will, but first be such as are able to will.

I have never regarded myself as a hero, but Tenzing undoubtedly was.

When people are lame, they love to blame.

The world around me has changed, and I have learned to adapt but not change. But I’m changing into the woman I am meant to be.

Remember you are just an extra in everyone else’s play.

You are a little soul carrying around a corpse.

People aren’t supposed to look back. I’m certainly not going to do it anymore.

I am a little too absorbed by science to be able to philosophise much; but the more I look into myself, the more I find myself possessed by the conviction that it is only the science of Christ running through all things, that is to say true mystical science, that really matters. I let myself get caught up in the game when I geologise.

You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.

The Nation of Islam’s main focus was teaching black pride and self-awareness. Why should we keep trying to force ourselves into white restaurants and schools when white people didn’t want us? Why not clean up our own neighborhoods and schools instead of trying to move out of them and into white people’s neighborhoods?

Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated.

First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.

I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.

There’s nothing you can know that isn’t known.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

A person who is truly authentic doesn’t need to play a role in life, we think, but can simply be him – or herself.

People may think I’m trying something new by telling stories, but they’re just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That’s what I do.

People say you have to hit rock bottom, and, I can tell you, almost dying is as rock bottom as it gets.

I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the presidency.

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Freedom is not given to us by anyone; we have to cultivate it ourselves. It is a daily practice… No one can prevent you from being aware of each step you take or each breath in and breath out.

I’m mortified to be on the stage, but then again, it’s the only place where I’m happy.

If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.

Get mad, then get over it.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.

I’ve never been a jealous person, and I’ve never felt built up by someone else’s failure – that’s a cheap thrill.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

As the father of eight children, I’m quite convinced that each individual arrives here with their own unique personality. We are intended here from an invisible held of infinite potentiality. That which has no form, has no boundaries – it’s the I that’s in the ever-changing body.

We thought that we had the answers, it was the questions we had wrong.

There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad.

Because you know when you first become famous, you start walking a little different because people are staring at you.

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.

Sports are basically our way of feeling sorry for ourselves. Most men can’t become athletes. We’re watching guys who actually made it. We see them dunking and making touchdowns. Then we think about ourselves when we were younger.

I will praise any man that will praise me.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ‚Where’s the self-help section?‘ She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

I said I was ‚The Greatest,‘ I never said I was the smartest!

From my close observation of writers… they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test.

You will find as you grow older that courage is the rarest of all qualities to be found in public life.