I saw ‚Magic Mike,‘ and I thought it was great.

I have kind of a funny relationship with movies. I don’t have to see the whole movie to get an impression of it or to let it have an influence on me.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

I learned how important it is to entertain people and give them a reason to come and watch you play.

‚Best Man Holiday‘ was a very successful film.

The art of acting consists in keeping people from coughing.

Yes, I’m always – I’m always surprised when you make a film and you live with it a while and you put it out, you never dream that anybody is ever going to want to really see it.

Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.

Nobody enjoys the ‚little show about nothing‘ humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at it.

Chris Rock does the political thing really well, but that never worked for me.

And I try to give the best bang for the buck. I love performing more than anything else.

Stand-up comedy is mine: it’s my entity; it’s my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it.

People get a kick out of my stupidity.

I like the good life too much, I’m not good at going on stage night after night and on wet Wednesday afternoons.

The best book, like the best speech, will do it all – make us laugh, think, cry and cheer – preferably in that order.

The secret to humor is surprise.

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

I could have spent eight years doing anything, and at some level, it would have been fine. I could have focused on flowers. I could have focused on decor. I could have focused on entertainment. Because any First Lady, rightfully, gets to define her role. There’s no legislative authority; you’re not elected. And that’s a wonderful gift of freedom.

Disneyland is the star, everything else is in the supporting role.

Since childhood, I’ve been a clown. I’ve always liked being very funny or trying to make people laugh. It’s my original self.

I spent much of my childhood in northern Quebec, and often there was no radio, no television – there wasn’t a lot to entertain us. When it rained, I stayed inside reading, writing, drawing.

Stand-up is hard.

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

The most watched programme on the BBC, after the news, is probably ‚Doctor Who.‘ What has happened is that science fiction has been subsumed into modern literature. There are grandparents out there who speak Klingon, who are quite capable of holding down a job. No one would think twice now about a parallel universe.

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them up with great passion. That is because human beings need stories.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

I didn’t have to win, and winning wasn’t important to me. Being world champion wasn’t important to me. What was important to me was entertaining the audience, and whether that meant winning, losing, singing, or whatever it was on the live show we were doing every week, which was awesome, I was game for it.

I think the thing we see is that as people are using video games more, they tend to watch passive TV a bit less. And so using the PC for the Internet, playing video games, is starting to cut into the rather unbelievable amount of time people spend watching TV.

I’d love to go into WWE and have a real knock and see what’s what.

What a blast it is to be here with Michael Moore.

A lot of people think I’m a comedian.

One of the things you’re doing when you make art, apart from entertaining yourself and other people, is trying to see what ways of working feel good, what feels right.

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made ‚em up myself.

Men like a ref decision because they just want to get back to the game.

I’m not a film buff. I don’t watch a lot of movies.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

I enjoy driving on the sim, doing stuff like that, staying at home.

As a producer, as a CEO of Hartbeat Productions, I am making deals to put my company in place to win, to put my staff to work so that while all this stuff is going on, they’re in the kitchen cooking. So it’s understanding the longevity of the entertainment business; you get out of it what you put into it.

When you’re doing a film and the majority of the film is cast black, for me, it’s most important to get people to view those movies as just movies, as just good movies. At the end of the day, regardless of the color of the cast, we’re all doing the same thing in this business: trying to make a good film.

I like Italian movies. I was frequently there in the ’60s, in Rome and the vicinity. It was a great period in life. I was very influenced by their stuff.

I do love the films I’ve done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we’re trying to make people laugh and I’m very proud of that.

One good thing about acting in film is that it’s good therapy.

I didn’t know the term ‚synesthesia‘ until I was working on ‚Cruel Summer.‘ Halfway into writing that, I really understood that, my entire life, I had been trying to describe this condition of mine: through painting, through this seven-screen Surround Vision film we shot in Qatar, through all these things.

Human beings need stories, and we’re looking for them in all kinds of places; whether it’s television, whether it’s comic books or movies, radio plays, whatever form, people are hungry for stories.

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that, if you bore people, they think it’s their fault.

I am a fan of the ‚Rocky‘ films, and ‚Rocky 4‘ is my favourite. I also like ‚The Warriors.‘

As we all know, sequels can be tricky.

I love WWE, and I love that platform. There is no other platform in the world that gives me that instant gratification. There is just no other platform.

I love performing, you know, because, like I say, I’m a ham for this stuff.

I’ve been reading tabloids since I was nine. I love a good story.

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don’t like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

One of the great pleasures of going to see a Daniel Day-Lewis film: you haven’t seen him in five years. Where have you been? So, it’s a special event, right? Well, if you want to go see a movie that I’m in, it still may be a special event for you, but, you don’t feel like you don’t know where I’ve been.

I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night – and I’d dream about it being me.

‚Eastern Promises‘ is great.

I like a drama.

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

We are not trying to entertain the critics. I’ll take my chances with the public.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

The one thing about the business of entertainment is that you have to learn patience.