I really want a pet, and I really love animals.

Pooper scooper? Yeah, I’ve done it a few times. Every once in a while, you have to.

I love dogs, but dogs, you have to be in the country with dogs. I cannot walk a dog on the street.

A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip.

I’ve got four dogs, and I just don’t do dog doo. I’m a diva when it comes to that.

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God.

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

It must be the Brit in me, because I like animals.

The dog that trots about finds a bone.

I love pets, especially dogs.

I got a dog with a Napoleon complex. I have a Napoleon complex. We’re small. Anything big that we feel is threatening us, we want to fight. We’re not a pushover.

My house is run, essentially, by an adopted, fully clawed cat with a mean nature.