I performed in a bowling alley before while people were still bowling. Cut the check, and I will perform anywhere.

Someone said to me, ‚If fifty percent of the experts in Hollywood said you had no talent and should give up, what would you do?‘ My answer was then and still is, ‚If a hundred percent told me that, all one hundred percent would be wrong.‘

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it’s my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.

Well, in order for me to be successful… In order to be a great artist – musician, actor, painter, whatever – you must be able to be private in public at all times.

I decided to sell my drawings. However, I didn’t want people to buy my drawings because the professor of physics isn’t supposed to be able to draw – isn’t that wonderful – so I made up a false name.

Every man, and for stronger reasons, every artist, wants to be recognized. So do I.

I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I’ll die like a poet.

Mother Earth is very talented. She has produced Buddhas, bodhisattvas, great beings.

I love Wiz Khalifa.

One is lucky to be born in a place where no one is doing it, because then you can say, ‚Well, obviously I can write better than everyone else in high school.‘ You have no idea of the competition.

My whole life is a theater piece.

I’m not going to lie; listen, I’m nice at basketball.

I could have spent eight years doing anything, and at some level, it would have been fine. I could have focused on flowers. I could have focused on decor. I could have focused on entertainment. Because any First Lady, rightfully, gets to define her role. There’s no legislative authority; you’re not elected. And that’s a wonderful gift of freedom.

If you tell me there’s something I can’t do, I’ll want to do it even more. Especially when it comes to entertaining.

Aside from singing, I’m also a dancer. I’ve been dancing since I was 8.

I learned how important it is to entertain people and give them a reason to come and watch you play.

Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me.

One of the reasons I connect to the Super Bowl is that I approach my shows like an athlete.

I take a lot of pride in the work I do, because people pay to see me. They’ve got to get babysitters, park their car, get popcorn and candy. I’ve got to be conscious of that.

I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

My strong point, if I have a strong point, is performance. I always do more than I say. I always produce more than I promise.

Talent and effort, combined with our various backgrounds and life experiences, has always been the lifeblood of our singular American genius.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‚I used everything you gave me‘.

Dreaming about being an actress, is more exciting then being one.

In pop music, the public usually see the results – the hit records, the Grammy Awards performances, the concert tours – but not all the work that goes into getting into the spotlight. And not everyone realizes that, even if you have a lot of talent, chances are you won’t make it.

I know that if I had a television in my flat I would convince myself that everything on it was really interesting. I would say, ‚I’m a Celebrity – Get Me Out of Here!‘ is so sociologically fascinating that I think I’d better watch.

I know some of the best Dolly Parton jokes. I made ‚em up myself.

Being an artist doesn’t just mean you have a song. That doesn’t make you an artist. The word ‚artist‘ means so many different things, and I feel like to be a real one, you really have to do it all. The people that I think of as artists – Tyler the Creator, Childish Gambino, Kanye West – are doing the most.

I want to thank God, obviously for the health, for the talent He’s given me, for my family who supports me, for the things that basketball’s taught me on and off the court. For the people that I’ve been able to meet through the game of basketball.

What a blast it is to be here with Michael Moore.

Children’s talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.

I can dance to just about anything.

The first four and a half years was me in the studio every day, writing songs for other people. I had jobs, too – eleven jobs. I worked at Kinko’s, Fatburger, Subway – I was a sandwich artist – and I was a claims processor at Allstate Insurance.

I knew that I was ‚interesting‘ at 18 because I was aware that I could get away with doing things on stage.

I’m rather kind of old school, thinking that when an artist does his work, it’s no longer his… I just see what people make of it.

My main focus is always to do well on the field for the Indian cricket team. When people say good things about me off the field, I am more than happy to accept them.

Working with J Balvin has undoubtedly been an unparalleled experience.

If I heard someone else singing like me, I would buy it in a heartbeat.

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it, but I don’t really think most people really understand what they’ve seen.

I sent out a tweet, ‚Dancing with the Stars‘ should stop the jibber jabber. They shouldn’t make the departure of a dancer so tear jerky because nobody’s going to war.

The cut of a garment speaks of intellect and talent and the color of temperament and heart.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

I often get ideas for songs on the tour bus at odd times. Like at 6am when no one is around, I’d just write.

Who I am on stage is very, very different to who I am in real life.

You are always hoping that movie audiences are interested in characters and interested in story values rather than just mindless special effects. But you never know.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

It just seems there’s better things to do in your life than be on television if it’s not interesting, if it’s not challenging, if it’s not fun. You know? When it stops being those things for me, I’ll stop making television.

Is there a sharper commentary on American culture and the world than The Simpsons?

A just and reasonable modesty does not only recommend eloquence, but sets off every great talent which a man can be possessed of.

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don’t like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.

I sang a song at my sister’s wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

There is something that is much more scarce, something finer far, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability.

The movie business is a big gamble.

My paintings have gotten to be pretty popular and I’ve taken a little bit more interest in painting the last few years. In fact, my novel that I wrote not too long ago, ‚The Hornet’s Nest,‘ I painted the cover picture for it and I do a good bit of painting now.

My philosophy is, it’s always very rewarding when you can make an audience laugh. I don’t mind making fun of myself. I like self-deprecating comedy. But I’d like you to laugh with me occasionally, too.

Talent grips us. We are overtaken by the beauty of Michelangelo’s sculpture, riveted by Mariah Carey’s angelic voice, doubled over in laughter by the comedy of Robin Williams, and captivated by the on screen performances of Denzel Washington.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

I love Steve Carell.

Acting is happy agony.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.