I love to pop up at the movie theaters. I love to treat the people who are there.

War should be the only study of a prince. He should consider peace only as a breathing-time, which gives him leisure to contrive, and furnishes as ability to execute, military plans.

I’ve missed out on a lot of things, going out with friends.

I love to go to the zoo. But not on Sunday. I don’t like to see the people making fun of the animals, when it should be the other way around.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

And I love a scary movie. It makes your toes curl and it’s not you going through it.

I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

Maybe I’ll give Broadway a try. But you know what would be great? Hosting the Oscars. I promise you, that would be a show no one forgot.

When the first big paycheque with ‚Dumb And Dumber‘ hit, I went: ‚Gosh, I wonder if this will affect my performance. Will I do a take and think, was that worth $7 million?‘ But that never happened. If anything, it made me rebel against that thing when people who get rich start playing it safe.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

Taking in a baseball game on TV is also a big treat.

What can I say? I’m a talker.

Cinema reflects culture and there is no harm in adapting technology, but not at the cost of losing your originality.

Films and television and even comic books are churning out vast quantities of fictional narratives, and the public continues to swallow them up with great passion. That is because human beings need stories.

I want more of my favorite artists or more of the guy that makes the anthems. I want more.

Man, I really like Vegas.

I enjoy driving on the sim, doing stuff like that, staying at home.

When I was 8 years old, I saw ‚Raiders of the Lost Ark‘ in Charlotte, North Carolina. I walked out of there and was so inspired. I loved the movie, and I knew I wanted to be that guy.

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

There’s nothing funnier than the human animal.

A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match.

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.

I don’t get bored.

We are more thoroughly an enlightened people, with respect to our political interests, than perhaps any other under heaven. Every man among us reads, and is so easy in his circumstances as to have leisure for conversations of improvement and for acquiring information.

Jesters do often prove prophets.

What with making their way and enjoying what they have won, heroes have no time to think. But the sons of heroes – ah, they have all the necessary leisure.

Become slower in your journey through life. Practice yoga and meditation if you suffer from ‚hurry sickness.‘ Become more introspective by visiting quiet places such as churches, museums, mountains and lakes. Give yourself permission to read at least one novel a month for pleasure.

To the audience, it’s like I’m changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show’s almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.

Well, everyone likes movies when they’re a little kid.

Writers are a little below clowns and a little above trained seals.

My folks always let me go to the movies every Saturday. We were really motion-picture goers.

I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.

Leisure and curiosity might soon make great advances in useful knowledge, were they not diverted by minute emulation and laborious trifles.

Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.

Some people think literature is high culture and that it should only have a small readership. I don’t think so… I have to compete with popular culture, including TV, magazines, movies and video games.

So, do you live around here often?

I have never cared especially for outdoor sports and have no desire to excel at tennis, swimming, or golf. I’ll leave those things to the men.

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

Jonathan Demme is a very sharp editor of his movies.

I could have spent eight years doing anything, and at some level, it would have been fine. I could have focused on flowers. I could have focused on decor. I could have focused on entertainment. Because any First Lady, rightfully, gets to define her role. There’s no legislative authority; you’re not elected. And that’s a wonderful gift of freedom.

Dude, maybe not everyone loves ‚Glee.‘ Me included. I watched 10 minutes and it wasn’t my thing.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

I sell escapism.

The celebrity-chef thing, even at its worst, its most annoying, its silliest, its goofiest, its most egregious and cynical, has been a good thing.

I just felt that if I went into Speed 2, I just… wouldn’t have come up out of the water.

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.

Just as I wanted to outdo everyone when I played, I had to outdo everyone when we were out on the town.

I make pop culture.

I really like children to watch my movies.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

The sound and music are 50% of the entertainment in a movie.

According to Lifetime, I don’t know anything about TV.

When you have good friends you’ve been around, every time they talk, you don’t give them your full attention. You don’t look them in the eye and stop. Half the time, you’re listening, half the time, you are ignoring them.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

My goal is to entertain myself and others.

When I got depressed, I watched Bruce Lee movies. I learned everything from Bruce Lee.

I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.

For me the greatest source of income is still movies. Nothing – stocks, financial speculation, real estate speculation or businesses – makes more money for me than making movies.