I love making people laugh. And I love laughing.

I love Chris Brown. He’s a superstar. He’s one of the best singers out there.

Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it’s just a daisy in a jelly glass.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance.

But by reading them again and again finally I was able to grasp the essential part. What emotion, enthusiasm, enlightenment and confidence they communicated to me! I wept for joy.

Our object in the construction of the state is the greatest happiness of the whole, and not that of any one class.

My music is a luxury.

I cannot pretend to be impartial about the colours. I rejoice with the brilliant ones, and am genuinely sorry for the poor browns.

I’m mortified to be on the stage, but then again, it’s the only place where I’m happy.

There’s no happier person than a truly thankful, content person.

Most people are happy being average. Most are happy being faceless in a sea of faces.

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give.

Whenever I want to laugh, I read a wonderful book, ‚Children’s Letters to God.‘ You can open it anywhere. One I read recently said, ‚Dear God, thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.‘

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Suspicion is far more to be wrong than right; more often unjust than just. It is no friend to virtue, and always an enemy to happiness.

All those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.

As a vulnerability researcher, the greatest barrier I see is our low tolerance for vulnerability. We’re almost afraid to be happy. We feel like it’s inviting disaster.

I make fun of situations and try and find the humor in things, but it’s never at the expense of the other guy.

I enjoy driving on the sim, doing stuff like that, staying at home.

I believe that a trusting attitude and a patient attitude go hand in hand. You see, when you let go and learn to trust God, it releases joy in your life. And when you trust God, you’re able to be more patient. Patience is not just about waiting for something… it’s about how you wait, or your attitude while waiting.

That man is rich whose pleasures are the cheapest.

I’m crazy, but I’m not stupid.

Yes, it is one of my ultimate aims – it is the ultimate sense of football: to make the people happy, to let them live some emotions that you usually can’t get.

In South Korea, they believe that when you turn 60, you’ve become a baby again and the rest of your life should be totally about joy and happiness, and people should leave you alone, and I just think that that’s the height of intelligence.

The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, ‚A house guest,‘ you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!

There’s a lot of great movies that have won the Academy Award, and a lot of great movies that haven’t. You just do the best you can.

Family and friendships are two of the greatest facilitators of happiness.

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.

Making your dad happy is – especially for an Italian Catholic girl, I’ll tell you – it feels really good.

Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing.

I believe enlightenment or revelation comes in daily life. I look for joy, the peace of action. You need action. I’d have stopped writing years ago if it were for the money.

I just want people to be the best thems and live the happiest lives possible.

I can honestly say, after talking about my mom passing away, I got the biggest weight off of my chest. Comedy is my therapy. That’s how I deal with my problems, my personal battles. I talk about it. I give it to my fans. When they laugh at it, it’s a release, for lack of a better word.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

My daughter doesn’t even get my humor. She’s like, ‚Um, no. I don’t get it, Dad. Mmm, no, not that one, Dad.‘

Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.

The two things in the world we all share in this world are laughter and pain. We’ve all got problems. The levels of those problems vary, but we’ve all got problems. When you can take things that are painful and make them funny, that’s a gift – to you and your audience.

Some people would claim that things like love, joy and beauty belong to a different category from science and can’t be described in scientific terms, but I think they can now be explained by the theory of evolution.

We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.

I sent out a tweet, ‚Dancing with the Stars‘ should stop the jibber jabber. They shouldn’t make the departure of a dancer so tear jerky because nobody’s going to war.

The ineffable joy of forgiving and being forgiven forms an ecstasy that might well arouse the envy of the gods.

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

The man who is aware of himself is henceforward independent; and he is never bored, and life is only too short, and he is steeped through and through with a profound yet temperate happiness.

If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?

I never listen to the radio unless I rent a car.

I believe that the greatest gift you can give your family and the world is a healthy you.

I’ve been reading tabloids since I was nine. I love a good story.

Happiness is a how; not a what. A talent, not an object.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It’s a gift.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

Diana Ross is a big inspiration to all of us. We all grew up watching everything about her – her mike placement, her grace, her style and her class.

Until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy.

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live that his happiness shall depend as little as possible on external things.

If you tell me there’s something I can’t do, I’ll want to do it even more. Especially when it comes to entertaining.

I never even thought of myself as deadpan until someone wrote an article about me about a year after I was doing comedy. There was a paper called the ‚Boston Phoenix,‘ and someone wrote a description of what I was doing and that’s where I first saw ‚deadpan.‘