I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.

I saw a picture of myself when I came out of the hospital. I didn’t recognize myself.

Accident counts for as much in companionship as in marriage.

It may seem a strange principle to enunciate as the very first requirement in a hospital that it should do the sick no harm.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it.

I wanted to race cars. I didn’t like school, and all I wanted to do was work on cars. But right before I graduated, I got into a really bad car accident, and I spent that summer in the hospital thinking about where I was heading. I decided to take education more seriously and go to a community college.

I break orbital bones.

There is no such thing as accident; it is fate misnamed.

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there’s no risk of accident for someone who’s dead.

I fell and broke my pelvic bone in three places. So, I’m still sort of an invalid now.

I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

The earth was probably born by accident; but, in accordance with one of the most general laws of evolution, scarcely had this accident happened than it was immediately made use of and recast into something naturally directed.

I was the only kid who anybody I knew has ever seen actually walk into a lamppost with his eyes wide open. Everybody assumed that there must be something going on inside, because there sure as hell wasn’t anything going on on the outside!

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Today, medical devices such as catheters and stethoscopes use silver, and every hospital in the western world uses silver sulfadiazine to prevent infections.

I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew that my IQ had been damaged.

I was hit by a car once on my bike, but I still rode home.