I have no desire to crow over anybody or to see anybody eating crow, figuratively or otherwise. We should all get together and make a country in which everybody can eat turkey whenever he pleases.

We all have to live together, so we might as well live together happily.

I aspire my country eventually has a league where all players play 50 games.

After a hard day of basic training, you could eat a rattlesnake.

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate.

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

For Christians, who believe they are created in the image of God, it is the Godhead, diversity in unity and the three-in-oneness of God, which we and all creation reflect.

I’m a fry lover.

We need to try to unite audiences, unite countries, join musical tastes, unite people.

I laugh all the time – at things, people, stuff, whatever. But, I don’t laugh onstage because then it’s serious business.

I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

I think tolerance and acceptance and love is something that feeds every community.

The thing that I fear discriminating against is humor and truth.

I have some good friends of my own who happen to be gay, and when it comes to gay, straight, or whatever, I’m for anything life-affirmative. I’m for gay power, straight power, male power, female power; everybody should feel empowered without oppressing anyone who’s different.

If I’m in Rome for only 48 hours, I would consider it a sin against God to not eat cacio e pepe, the most uniquely Roman of pastas, in some crummy little joint where Romans eat. I’d much rather do that than go to the Vatican. That’s Rome to me.

Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.

The purposes of the United States should not be doubted. The Security Council resolutions will be enforced – the just demands of peace and security will be met – or action will be unavoidable. And a regime that has lost its legitimacy will also lose its power.

Independence? That’s middle class blasphemy. We are all dependent on one another, every soul of us on earth.

I resigned from the Marine Corps and flying in 1974, even though I loved them both. I quit because I no longer wanted to fight for peace. Instead, I believe we can build a more sustainable peace by working for prosperity.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.

I love trying out different cuisines. In Delhi, I love Megu at the Leela, and TK’s at the Hyatt. I also enjoy Khan Chacha’s rolls. In Mumbai, it’s Royal China and Shiro. And in Bangalore, I like the food at Bricklane.

I still derive immense pleasure from remembering how many hod-carrying brickies were encouraged to put on lurex tights and mince up and down the high street, having been assured by know-it-alls like me that a smidgen of blusher really attracted the birds.

Nothing can be by itself alone, no one can be by himself or herself alone, everyone has to inter-be with every one else. That is why, when you look outside, around you, you can see yourself.

What makes all doctrines plain and clear? About two hundred pounds a year. And that which was proved true before, prove false again? Two hundred more.

The way up and the way down are one and the same.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

People are always asking me in interviews, ‚What do you think of foreign affairs?‘ I just say, ‚I’ve had a few.‘

I long for the time when all human history is taught as one history, because it really is.

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

The pacifist is as surely a traitor to his country and to humanity as is the most brutal wrongdoer.

For the sake of peace and justice, let us move toward a world in which all people are at last free to determine their own destiny.

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.

There is not a liberal America and a conservative America – there is the United States of America. There is not a black America and a white America and latino America and asian America – there’s the United States of America.

I’m not a serious person, and I don’t like serious people.

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.

Fear, separation, hate and anger come from the wrong view that you and the Earth are two separate entities, the Earth is only the environment. You are in the centre and you want to do something for the Earth in order for you to survive. That is a dualistic way of seeing.

I see Americans of every party, every background, every faith who believe that we are stronger together: black, white, Latino, Asian, Native American; young, old; gay, straight; men, women, folks with disabilities, all pledging allegiance under the same proud flag to this big, bold country that we love. That’s what I see. That’s the America I know!

One of the most important things you learn from the Internet is that there is no ‚them‘ out there. It’s just an awful lot of ‚us.‘

A person who can’t pay gets another person who can’t pay to guarantee that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another person with two wooden legs to guarantee that he has got two natural legs. It don’t make either of them able to do a walking-match.

The essence of all religions is one. Only their approaches are different.

We have to do more than just elect a new President if we truly want to change this country.

I try to be funny and not ignorant.

Peace is one of the most precious gifts God has promised His children. I know, because for many years my life was not peaceful, and I was miserable.

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

Peace can be contributed to by respect for our ability in defense.

I was born in London in England in 1934. I went through, as a child, the horrors of World War II, through a time when food was rationed and we learned to be very careful, and we never had more to eat than what we needed to eat. There was no waste. Everything was used.

I’ve seen George Foreman shadow boxing, and the shadow won.

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.

If you spend your life competing with business men, what do you have? A bank account and ulcers!

We have food all around us all the time, and if we haven’t eaten for three hours, we think we’re starving. You’re not starving – human beings can go for 30 days without food.

I’m a writer. I don’t support any war. That’s my principle.

We will always be a family. Always.

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.

The only excuse for war is that we may live in peace unharmed.

There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.