I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.

Such a chimerical idea as telegraphing vocal sounds would indeed, to most minds, seem scarcely feasible enough to spend time in working over. I believe, however, that it is feasible and that I have got the cue to the solution of the problem.

The more you know the less you need to say.

I’m going to save my public voice largely for the issues where I have some depth.

If you want to get each individual’s honest opinion, you don’t want that opinion to be influenced by others who are present, much less allow a group to coordinate what they are going to say.

I’m a people pleaser. I hold a lot of things in. I’m always making sure everybody is okay. I usually don’t rage; I usually don’t curse.

Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.

If I could explain it to the average person, it wouldn’t have been worth the Nobel Prize.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.

Preachers in pulpits talked about what a great message is in the book. No matter what you do, somebody always imputes meaning into your books.

It’s a very good question, very direct, and I’m not going to answer it.

Yes, I, well, when I write, as often as I can, I try to write as if I’m talking to people. It doesn’t always work, and one shouldn’t always try it, but I try and write as if I am talking, and trying to engage the reader in conversation.

Tell the children the truth.

A man never tells you anything until you contradict him.

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

I didn’t just invent saying offensive things.

I very much believe the Internet is indeed all it is cracked up to be.

Don’t ever call a guy first. The thing they want the most is whatever they can’t have. It sounds really juvenile, but it works.

Well, the thing that I learned as a diplomat is that human relations ultimately make a huge difference.

War is what happens when language fails.

The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn’t intended.

I do think that we’re gonna move towards this world where eventually you’ll be able to capture a whole experience that you’re in and be able to send that to someone.

Is it not important to find out how to listen not only to what is being said but to everything – to the noise in the streets, to the chatter of birds, to the noise of the tramcar, to the restless sea, to the voice of your husband, to your wife, to your friends, to the cry of a baby?

Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.

I’ll never make it, it will never happen, because they’re never going to hear me ‚cause they’re screaming all the time.

Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don’t believe is right.

We often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us.

When I am talking to people who I feel don’t like me or are mean, I get really shy, and I kind of curl up personality wise.

I have found that no exertion of the legs can bring two minds much nearer to one another.

When you have a conflict, that means that there are truths that have to be addressed on each side of the conflict. And when you have a conflict, then it’s an educational process to try to resolve the conflict. And to resolve that, you have to get people on both sides of the conflict involved so that they can dialogue.

Time was when they that feared the Lord spake often to one another; I am afraid that now they more often speak one against another.

Put it this way: If I asked, ‚How’s business?‘ and you say, ‚Boomin‘ or ‚Amazing,‘ I already know the answer.

My mother always taught us that if people don’t agree with you, the important thing is to listen to them. But if you’ve listened to them carefully and you still think that you’re right, then you must have the courage of your convictions.

Marriage is a series of desperate arguments people feel passionately about.

I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art.

I think, a lot of times when you meet someone, you feel like you need to appear like you’re not interested in them so that they’ll be more interested in you. But what happens when you start showing him that you actually like him? What’s he gonna do then? Play the tape forward; how do you keep a guy like that? I don’t want to sign up for that.

Girls talk to each other like men talk to each other. But girls have an eye for detail.

Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

My first phone was two tin cans tied together with string, and it worked pretty good.

Anybody can be specific and obvious. That’s always been the easy way. It’s not that it’s so difficult to be unspecific and less obvious; it’s just that there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, to be specific and obvious about.

These technologies can make life easier, can let us touch people we might not otherwise. You may have a child with a birth defect and be able to get in touch with other parents and support groups, get medical information, the latest experimental drugs. These things can profoundly influence life. I’m not downplaying that.

Almost everybody will listen to you when you tell your own story.

A mother defends herself with a heart filled with love before doing so with words. I wonder whether there is any love for the church in the hearts of those who pay so much attention to the scandals.

When I’m nervous, I stutter, and I had to keep stopping and starting.

I maintain that, if everyone knew what others said about him, there would not be four friends in the world.

My friend has a baby. I’m recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.

We write for the same reason that we walk, talk, climb mountains or swim the oceans – because we can. We have some impulse within us that makes us want to explain ourselves to other human beings. That’s why we paint, that’s why we dare to love someone – because we have the impulse to explain who we are.

Throughout my career, I fed off the fuel of people not being able to understand me.

If you do not understand a man you cannot crush him. And if you do understand him, very probably you will not.

Silence is more eloquent than words.

Counsel with your parents is a privilege at any age.

If your man is a sports enthusiast, you may have to resign yourself to his spouting off in a monotone on a prize fight, football game or pennant race.

If one does not understand a person, one tends to regard him as a fool.

Nobody’s ever said that pins are a tool of diplomacy.

The common thread for everything I do is this idea of a Web-services architecture. What does that mean? It means taking components of software and systems and having them be self-describing, so that you can aim them, ask them what their capabilities are, and communicate with them using a standard protocol.

All men hate the nagging.

At Facebook, we build tools to help people connect with the people they want and share what they want, and by doing this we are extending people’s capacity to build and maintain relationships.

Lying is not only saying what isn’t true. It is also, in fact especially, saying more than is true and, in the case of the human heart, saying more than one feels. We all do it, every day, to make life simpler.

I once did a three-hour interview with Radio Oxford only to be told the microphone hadn’t picked me up.

I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don’t think I’m as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people – which is why I think I did so well.