I don’t want to hear the specials. If they’re so special, put ‚em on the menu.

The funny thing is people won’t let me pay for things. I’ll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, ‚Oh no, it’s on the house.‘

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

I don’t know about you, but most of my exchanges with cashiers are not that meaningful.

When I go to a restaurant, yeah, I know that a line is probably going to form in front of the table, but didn’t I always wish for that? Yeah, I did.

If you ask the CEO of some major corporation what he does, he will say, in all honesty, that he is slaving 20 hours a day to provide his customers with the best goods or services he can and creating the best possible working conditions for his employees.

If I’ve got a problem with one of my clients that needs to get solved, guess what I’m going to do? I’m going to call them up, and I’m going to say, ‚Hey, here’s what’s going on. This is the situation. This thing went sideways. I didn’t expect it. Now it’s going to take me some more time to get you what you need.‘ But I’m going to do that upfront.

All great deeds and all great thoughts have a ridiculous beginning. Great works are often born on a street corner or in a restaurant’s revolving door.

Together, we can help make sure that every family that walks into a restaurant can make an easy, healthy choice.

Steak and Shake in Indianapolis is definitely the first stop when we hit that city.

Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.

I had a great time being a salesman because of the pitches that I gave when I was selling shoes. However, I don’t think I’m as well versed in shoes as I am in comedy. Being a salesman was all about being a people person, and I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people – which is why I think I did so well.

This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.

Some companies out there quote a start of production that is substantially in advance of when customers get their cars.

A business absolutely devoted to service will have only one worry about profits. They will be embarrassingly large.

If I’m in the ‚hood, I like Chef Creole’s Haitian rice and stewed chicken.

I’ve sat in sushi bars, really fine ones, and I know how hard this guy worked, how proud he is. I know you don’t need sauce. I know he doesn’t even want you to pour sauce. And I’ve seen customers come in and do that, and I’ve seen him, as stoic as he tries to remain, I’ve seen him die a little inside.

It’s very hard when you eat out every day for a living, and a new restaurant comes along and you haven’t got that same vigour that you had 10 years ago.

I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included.

You should not build your customer service system on the premise that your organisation will never question the whims of your clients.

We see our customers as invited guests to a party, and we are the hosts. It’s our job every day to make every important aspect of the customer experience a little bit better.

Never say no when a client asks for something, even if it is the moon. You can always try, and anyhow there is plenty of time afterwards to explain that it was not possible.

I’d just like to be treated like a regular customer.

I’m not a sandwich store that only sells turkey sandwiches. I sell a lot of different things.

I went to a general store but they wouldn’t let me buy anything specific.

My father opened a restaurant. It’s so amazing… it’s so freaking delicious, but I’m telling you I gain five pounds every time I go in there.

I don’t think it’s a good advert for any restaurant, a fat chef, and secondly, who wants to eat a dessert when the chef’s a fat pig.

Fame itself… doesn’t really afford you anything more than a good seat in a restaurant.

A complaint is a chance to turn a customer into a lifelong friend. I say that seriously, not as some press release baloney.

I went to a general store. They wouldn’t let me buy anything specifically.

My mother was a very wonderful woman. When she and my dad divorced, she moved to California and worked two jobs in the cannery at night and as a waitress during the day. But she saved enough money to establish a restaurant.

Find what’s hot, find what’s just opened and then look for the worst review of the week. There is so much to learn from watching a restaurant getting absolutely panned and having a bad experience. Go and see it for yourself.

Why go to a machine when you could go to a human being?

I went to a restaurant that serves ‚breakfast at any time‘. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

The best customer service is if the customer doesn’t need to call you, doesn’t need to talk to you. It just works.